Apricots. (September 23, 2013)

Sorry no time today.

So many classics this week just wont.do.it.justice. 

-Kid from Mexico serving here.....really thick accent.......in our District Meeting that President was sitting in on........

"I meeen jus don't ben an apricot"

.....all of us....confused....President Bell there so Elder Ives just nods his head..."yeah totally..." 

*what*

45 minutes later Sister Engebretsen leans over "........Hypocrite." 

*literal dying* 

-Eating dinner at Woods, Lydia (my fave 13 year old):

"Yeah we LOVE to go on bike rides, my Dad takes us all the time- wait a second---you'll just die he rides his bike every day to work, Dad! Show the Sister Missionaries your leg muscles!" 

"Lydia, WHAT are you saying?" *Dad Wood*

Us: "Oh....heh ...heh......no it's ok......i mean if you want...what-no i mean don't.....great...bikes.....we walk.......car.....hmm looks like a great day outside!"

#failure

-Waiting to teach Troy....on exchanges with the Sister Leaders so I'm like "oh yeah...we got this in the bag.....oh he didnt show up.....oh its dark outside and we aren't supposed to be walking in the dark.....I mean it's fine....I know all the homeless people...so we'll be fine..........................." 

Talking to Troy's neighbor RoberTOE from Cooba (Cuba) who is......totally sane...waiting for Troy. 

And ok yeah big deal they live in the ghetto. So we're on the porch and I make him turn the porch light on *rookie*

So LOW ridin car-- like "Pimp My Ride" and Xzibit just got done working on it-- comes rolling up all slow in front of his house. Roberto goes RUNNING inside (he's borderline paranoid...like has security camera up) behind his SCREEN door that will save him......

Car has most tinted windows i've ever seen and they are just like stopped in the middle of the road in front of the house......so i do what ANY.one. who grew up in dah HOOD of P-Town would do.....

so i waved. 

Roberto- "SHOOT GURL, you WAVIN?!? some STUHRAINger- ...asdflkja kl;ajs...like you don't even KNOWdem they, got coulda got dat gun pointed at you they gun blow yo brains out..asldfsdf...you just be WAVIN!" 

But it was fine. Car goes screeching off flips around.....drives back all slow again.........and only ONE thing could come to my mind....

Madagascar. 

"smile and wave boys....smile and wave...." 

#oops

So yeah....then my main gurl DIANE rolls up...in a DODGE CHARGER (told me that like 40 times) .....give a quick lesson to Troy...gearing up to walk home 

Diane rollin by "DODGE CHARGER GURL, DODGE CHARGER!- wait you girls WALKIN?? SHoot girl, jump in!! ISS A RENTAL!!!" 

NO idea if that was even APPROVED!?! but whatever. desperate times desperate measures.  Accepting rides from homeless people NUMBER ONE in my book.....ESpecially if its a rental....and a Dodge Charger. 

Spent the whole time helping her decide if she should drive seat back one arm on steering wheel "rollin through hood ghetto" or up tight "urban mom style".....#greatest 

Rounded up the end of the week...walking home.....dark (not supposed to tract) but 30 min left......*music coming through the air* WHAT

look over. SKATE PARK. lights blaring. 

#winning 

Waited at the top for like 10 min pumping up Sister E with some courage to walk down....starts backing out like half way down the hill....literally pulling pushing her on.....girl sitting on bleachers GOLDEN. talked to her forever about my EXCESSIVE knowledge of skating.................................................so then about 30 seconds later moved on to next subject.

But it HIT me. Like I used to think I was fooling people by slyly bringing up the gospel or tricking them into a conversation about that we snuck Church in to....but im like. 

I LOOK LIKE A FREAKIN PILGRIM. 

We are at a SKATE PARK wearing SKIRTS holding BIBLES. 

Not.fooling.anyone. 

And I brought up like YEAH we are on MISSIONS here and its AWESOME! and literally the most natural easy conversation I've ever had in my life. 

BEST yet. 

LOVE YOU ALL 

MOM loved all my stuff you sent! I'll tell you how the training goes tomorrow .....may or may not be a NIGHTMARE but i'm well prepared. 

LOVE SISTER MURRAY 

SHOUTOUTS: 

SMASHLEY PACK! loved it all

MITZI! you are a LIFE saver!!! 

SUMSIONS! CHLOE CANT BELIEVE YOURE JOINING RANKS! cant wait to hear all about it. 

KENZIE RONEY! I DIEDDDDDDDDDD your PICS! Loved loved loved!! 

Ma Bev/Liz LOVED it. 

Djibouti, Iguana, Aquamarine (Sep 16, 2013)

FIRST off this is going to be lame and short and sparse, barren, empty,smallshortLAME. 

Got it? 

OK - remember Bowen who made the days SPARKLE from his amazing eleven-year-old 20 minute talk last week?? YEAH HAD DINNER AT HIS HOUSE. yesterday. 

He loves GREEN DAY and Hockey, and GEOGRAPHY. and knows SO much Trivia, we played like "Jeopardy" that he just came up with in his mind??? IN.HIS.MIND.

Categories: 

-Periodic Table of Elements

-Popular Music from 2004-2009...?  (can only figure those dates because its when Green Day actually existed....) 

-HOCKEY

-Geography 

and he just off the cuff came up with these 1000-400 dollar questions with MULTIPLE CHOICE!? 

so yeah, the one that killed us? "When was Hurricane Katrina...i'll give you a hint...it was the same year that Green Day won Album of the Year for American Heart...." or whatever. 

THIS.KID.

His PARENTS on the other hand=genius(s)?? one that killed THEM? "Which is NOT an alkaline metal found in the earth SOMETHING SOMETHING blah blah blah smart etc" 

i don't even remember but ATTN: DJIBOUTI IS A COUNTRY - he did this thing like "think of a country...now an animal ending in that letter...now a color ending in that letter......was your answer Djibouti, Iguana, Aquamarine??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????" 

All of us. j2f. (jaw to floor). SPOT ON. allllllllll of his Moms answers. Mine was Denmark, Kangaroo, Orange, and AFTER he guessed them he was like "yeah, rookie. those are the most obvious ones." and she was trying to FOIL his plan so she did all of the ones that would throw it off????? and he GUESSED IT!?!?

Like it's safe to say that I will never be sad again. not ever. 

He topped off the night with singing the periodic table to the tune of Gangnam Style.....but his dad made him do it sitting down because usually "he dances so hard he gets too tired to finish..." 

*crying* 

We're fairly sure he is Autistic and his memory is IMPECCABLE. 

I hugged him when we left. I will not lie. I did. HOW CAN YOU NOT. 

THEN baptism. 

Yes Randall Kent Fyler is bapTiiiiiiiiiiZed. 

WHERE TO BEGIN!?!?

Did i mention he has a comb over?? ..................................in the water. *let your imagination run wild with that*

Ok ok ok first.....our building is being remodeled.........and our Ward Mission Leader is currently on ESPN highlights from football games........so.......

*get your bucket and mop* 

NEEDLESS to say.....we were like border line SWIMMING!?!?! but wow 1 hour later and so so so many towels we figured it out....and may or may not have used the Boy Scout flag to clear cob webs.....so like if that was disrespectful..............#oops we were desperate. 

Did i tell you about Sister Lewis? 

The Legend, the Infamous, the Queen of Lawrence, the CZAR, THE PRESIDENT?! 

Introducing Sister Lewis. 

She served in Lawrence for 6 months (kid stuff) last year. EVERYONE AND THEIR DOGGGGGGGGGGS (literally a puppy named Lewis) loved her/talk about her/ engrave her picture on their HEARTS ever since. INCLUDING Randy. Thus the baptism being postponed until she FLEW out here with her newly wed husb. 

ANYWAY immense pressure to make this baptism BOMB considering her name EATS up our Area Book (she being all powerful, all knowing...etc.) 

Somehow just turns in to Sister Murray like one-man band??? so embarrassing. WHO knew playing the piano was such a BIG job???? Like prelude, opening song, special music number, interlude, closing song?? PLUS I gave a talk on baptism..........so yeah like first 30 minutes.....just didnt leave the front...? just makes me look so bad, but i was wearing a shirt that said "LOOK! I am AWESOME!" so hopefully that made up for it. 

no but really. 

It was terrible. 

But i gave a shout out to Sister Lewis in my talk and then shook her hand and said "Congrats on being in Lawrence the SECOND longest........#beenhere7months SUCKA!" just kidding just in my mind. Then sat down. 

BLESS the Woodland family and three other people who emailed, facebooked, announced over pulpit?? Randy's baptism so it was PACKED like had to open up the back room?? (primary room) so we were THRILLED with the turnout considering only other baptism I planned was for Troy and there were NINE people there!!! #ultimatefail #redemption #straightupcallingpeopleonwardlistMAKINGthemcome 

Sang their song...little 4 year old Max kept trying to grab the microphone....parents pushed it to side......HANGING OFF SIDE OF PUPLIT TRYING TO SING INTO IT!? so funny. Ends with him screaming "nooo I want to bear my testimony....PLEEEASE I WANT TO BEAR MY TEstimony!!!!!!!!!!!!" fades into hallway 

Go to the font room. Brother Day baptizing (old man team up who is AWESOME.) ..................he is like 75.....Randy is like 65.....definitely overestimated how limber they still are...........like slow motion they say the prayer and go down for the dunk.....like a sand castle just crumbling slowly.....that was their bodies......knee comes up...limbs are flailing...water sloshing.....RE-DO. 

"Randy, its easier if you just sit like in a chair".....*starts sitting right then* no no AFTER the prayer. 

Second attempt....just as rickety....not even using arm positions just shoving him under the water...Randy still wearing his glasses....but a SUCCESS. 

I mean the Spirit was definitely there.....but more of a like "lets all laugh about this" way.... but really EVERYONE shoved in that tiny little room was smiling ear to ear so it was GREAT. Because THIS MAN just changed his LIFE! He just entered a gate that will change his life FOREVER, and everyone could feel it. 

THEN I'm so overwhelmed herding people back to the other room when THE LEGEND comes up to me....muffles something gives me hug.......walks away.....IM LIKE WAIT WAIT WHAT WAS THAT!?!?!?! THE LEGEND Sister Lewis gave me SOME sort of compliment and I didn't even HEAR it! so.crushed. 

But no. She is SO nice, me and Sister E were like..........crap. we are SINNERS for ever dissing her, she is an angel. And gave us GOBS of referrals of former investigators so I'm like "......yeah...lov...e you...too......" 

Went to the edge of the earth aka McLouth (tiny towns in our area).

And in case your forgot, here is a picture to remind you that I am in KANSAS. 

..and Brother Flyers baptism. 

Church is true, if you EVER start to doubt your testimony, read through Church History or watch the D&C videos, the sacrifices the early Saints made are so incredible, our lives are SO plush, the Lord is at the head of this work and it is so so amazing to be a part of it! 

MUCH LOVE FAMALEEE! 

Love, 

Sister Murray 

PS this was SUPPOSED to be short, but you can't get me started on Bowen!! or old men getting baptized apparently....i just cant stop!! 

Dis n Dat (September 9, 2013)

^^^ That is from a license plate on a truck driven by this ancient man. I KNOW. love him.

First I AM OLD, and decrepid. literal. EVERYONE HERE and their dogs are <_ 20 (that means less than or equal to)
LESS THAN OR EQUAL TO PEOPLE.
So yeah, there are like millions upon millions of jokes about me falling apart etc. etc. growing up in the 1900s, black and white tvs, AMATEUR stuff.
I mean, Jean Paul can attest to the fact that when we made fun of his age we were at least CREATIVE.
So yeah, its just me and the children out here in Lawrence. #pray4me

Sister Engebretsens friend serving in Washington told her they are confirmed getting iPads!
#sojealous
#pfiPs (pray for iPads)

I also have a testimony of Fung sh-way...?.....my attempt at spelling that is comical BUT this is real.
So remember how the Elders apartment was nightmare-ish??
Well, one night we are planning and it hits me....like WOW this furniture is in the WORST place. So i start rearranging it in my mind....(got BUTTERFLIES!?! <---shows my lack of entertainment) REARRANGE AND NOW WE LIVE IN A PALACE! like i literally stood in the center of the room and just looked at it, like it is beautiful. I will not lie. And then we bought a shower curtain and literally the bathroom turned in to a Parade of Homes version.
REPENTING FOR EVER CURSING THIS PLACE. Like literally, we have the nicest apartment in the mission.

This week so many language barriers.......and we are in Kansas.
Exhibit A:
Tracting. we have this new thing when things get EXTREMLY awkward, like horrible situations of people painting their fences, long driveways, sitting outside bbqing....those times when you say hello....and then they have all this time to prepare to say no to you?

So, we "prove our faith" and just let awkward flow through us for a jig and then we're done.

So we're proving our faith with this man.....who is of hispanic descent... "Hi we are missionaries from--"
Yes yes, you're welcome!
"oh....yes thank you..." wait what...?
Ok..you're welcome!
"um...........so you've seen us before?"
ho ho ok you're welcome! (nodding head hiding behind door, nodding head nodding head)
.................................
....
..
.........
"........................so yeah...we'll just leave you with our number then? Did the Elders meet you? you know..the boys with ties and backpacks?.....yeah just call us! ........thank you....?"
You're welcome!

....................we can only gather that he thought thank you mean you're welcome and he was trying to get ride of us........................or he was just very gracious.

AWKWARD OF THE CENTURY so literally .1 seconds ago i am sitting next to this Mormon looking woman....homely....wearing a denim jumper.....researching FAMILY HISTORY!?!? So i'm like....what the!
"excuse me....are you doing family history??"
ya.
....nothing about being a missionary...so im like oh not getting hints....
"have you ever been to the Mormon Church to look it up?"
I dont believe in Mormons, I'm baptist.
"oh...well thats ok, they have a bunch of stuff for free.....{give family history card}"
Um no. I don't want that. I already paid for this. I dont agree with Mormons.
Ok......
[i'm still sitting next to her]
#wanttodie
THAT was F'real. Like those magical milkshakes from the gas stations. F'REAL.

Ok this email is terrible, but i can't recover from that evil woman. IM LIKE HELLO YOU ARE WEARING A DENIM JUMPER YOU ARE SCREAMING BAPTIZE ME!

Speaking of Denim Jumpers.................................
there is this amazing woman named BECKY. She is next door neighbors to the Bishop, has been for like 17 years.
Never been interested.
Until like a month ago we stayed at the Bishops house and she came and brought us watermelon.
TOOK US TO A STEAK DINNER THIS WEEK!??
Found out her husbands GRANDPA used to be Mormon?? Is now looking for a new Church (used to be Catholic) she is like the most AWESOME woman, gives us rides etc (sometimes wears denim overall's...but shorts version...?) but PRAY FOR HER and her family, its going to happen.

Randy baptism this week, stress.

Supposed to have like 7 investigators at Church......2 show up.
About to lose it.
UNTIL this eleven year old COMEDIAN named Bowen Boyack stands up....(he is ELEVEN) and begins to speak for 20 minutes!?!?! TWENTY. life=changed.
I'm looking around like AM I CRYING!?!? He was soo funny without trying, like HAND GESTURES, shout outs to his little sister who is a baby?? like SO many times i reached for my camera to record...but decided I might be struck with lightning so didnt but OH SO BADLY DO I WISH I DID! I'll never be able to explain the joy he brought me, but straight up tender mercy.

LOVE YOU ALL!

Love,
Sister Murray

SHOUTOUS:
MITZI!! what in the WHAT! I can.not.wait. to send you a picture of our "inspiration station" of our apartment WITH ALL OF YOUR QUOTES ON THE WALL!! THANK YOUUUUU

ONE MILLION THINGS to put in my journal that you don't care about (Sep 3, 2013)

#1......you've noticed that it is not Monday..........Prez Bell wanted to keep us on our toes... 

#2. TENDER MERCY that literally is happening as I am typing. So there is this CLASSIK big black guy named Jay who comes to Salvation and is ALWAYS at the library when we are here....even on Tuesdays apparently....and he comes over as I am about to cry seeing my BEST FRIEND is getting married on Saturday....and just randomly starts like comedy hour about how her poor husband probably has to work really hard on his oil fields/there goes his college education fund, food stamps, childrens trust fund on her ring.... can i say that in a mass email?  TEARS, good kind. Aaaand then it ended in a weird mock proposal that got really awkward about how I better not expect anything bigger than a piece of dirt from him? #tendermercygone ...... #noJayforthehundredthtimewecantdate 

#3 LABOR DAY it was great and full of labor. We had a huge ward bbq that they were pushing to bring less actives and non-members so we almost went in to REAL labor trying to invite everyone we have ever met EVER to come..............................3 non-members and 2 less actives.....but GOBS of members! WAY more than any other activity so we'll count it a success! 
So it was potluck and we decided to bring cheap toys we found at walmart instead of food...........NOT our greatest idea i.e. COLORED BUBBLES.....that are like very very poignant hues.....that are like border-line not washable......that we gave to a THREE year-old..........who said "oh cool!" *pouring whole bottle down front* FAIL 
but we brought chalk and drew a giant Plan of Salvation on the ground hoping their Moms would realize the BIGGER PICTURE...looking past their daughters clothes now ruined..... #oops 

#4 WHO KNEW PLANNING BAPTISMS AND BACHELORETTE PARTIES HAD ANY SORT OF SIMILARITIES?????? literal. like planning Randy's baptism is giving me a BRAIN ANUERISM <---- proof of that is i cant even SPELL aneurysm?? stress ESPECIALLY since all these old sisters are FLYING in for the baptism (investigating for 3 years) and its like WOW i better up my game make this FABULOUS considering the ONE baptism we brought him to was that of a girl that just got baptized in the 2nd ward that was in charge of the Camp that the STAKE girls camp was at and they invited her to all of their activities, ends up getting BAPTIZED with the ENTIRE STAKE YW with their moms there, FILLED THE CHAPEL ............... so his expectations are like ....... THROUGH THE ROOF????? #wearedead #Sept11th........don'tquestionthatdate 
but my party planning skills are coming in handy! (BUT ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME)

#5  Fast Sunday....during sacrament me and Sister Engebretsen had just had this talk about our fast so really in to it......Maddie Alder (cutest toddler award) realizes that we are sitting a few rows back... 
(yelling) "LOOK! Mom! MISS-un-FAIRIES!.... dey are SLEEPING!" 
*just shocked/do we laugh/stand up and assure congregation we are awake?* 
"Oh! they waked up." 
........#norecovery 

#6 Randy started giving the opening prayers in Gospel Principles....poor Brother Heaps does NOT know what he has started.....his gift of gab has transferred in to his prayers!? 
Quote from prayer: 
"As always thank you for your time and for the time of everyone here in this class, oh wait actually thanks a lot for all of this rain, I mean it just REALLY is coming down, and it was last night! I was stopped up in it all night...ACTUALLY....if anyone is interested in finding out why that was come and find me...." 
wait, did he just campaign for friends in a prayer? can you do that??...... WHY havent i done that sooner?? 

#7 NELL! remember works at the Hospital......had the car this week FLYING by to an appointment.....EEEEEEKKK 
"was that Nell??" -tons of illegal u-turns-
"NELL! what the your phone shut off!"
Oh yeah I've been meaning to give you new number, but didnt have yours
"sweet...wait are you on break? oh you're on break for ONE HOUR??" 

-parking- 

FINALLY after 1 million failed attempts at setting up appointments with him taught him the first lesson in a random back employee hallway of a hospital that the Lord was watching over because NOBODY walked through, OF COURSE except for when Sis E is sharing the first vision, but after that just SILENCE, he asked so many great questions, and hes going to read the BoM and prayed about it in the most SINCERE prayer after we were done! 
I kept thinking of the quote in Preach My Gospel about Joseph Smith and apostles "there is no need for my servants to move swiftly while others are on the shore dwindling in unbelief" or something im like FREAK how many people do we just cruise by in our spoiled air conditioned car! 
So we now walk a lot. 

#8 RACHEL - new investigator like ANSWER TO PRAYERS. She is GOLDEN she started crying just when we were standing on her doorstep, shes struggling with some addictions and felt like we were an answer to an unspoken prayer, sis e has been praying for someone who needed the atonement MIRACLE! she came to Church on Sunday just tears in her eyes "I loved it!" it was the most refreshing feeling in the WORLD! like we dont have to tug and pull and work and teach and convince you that THIS is the best way to live? you just GET it???? AHHHHHH pray for her!!! and her cuter than life 6 year old daughter Indigo. 

#9 last but not least....new lady moved in from Utah who is not a member helped her last week.....like gobs of cat things....single......has no children.....asked us to come help her nail something to her wall...we're like sure?
Next thing I know I am in a skirt INSIDE of a giant cat cage 2 hours later sweating up a storm holding a meat mallet.....hammering in holes of dry wall anchors screw things with twist ties flying everywhere trying to secure this thing to a wall??? LIKE WE ARE SO UNDERQUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN????? needless to say.....there are like a lot of holes in the wall of that RENTED house......missed attempts.........Sis E is ALLERGIC to cats so she is dying now.......but Cindy was happy? #ten....der.....merc..y?
Next day at Ward Council... "So Cindy has started to ask us to do some things that are a little more service than I think we should offer, so if we could just hold off on those and encourage her to hire help so the Church doesnt get SUED...." 
*millions of holes we just hammered in to her wall with a meat mallet blazing in my mind* 
"Great..... idea.. Bishop!" 
#crap 

LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Love, Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 
GRACIAL! those PICtures!!! OMG IM DYING your trip looked AMAZE and all of the weddings so classic. LOVE 
SAMUEL DAVID- YOUR LETTER! so so great writing you back ASAP
STRING! OMG YOUR CARD looooooooooved loved it! THANK YOU
TAMMY EEENG! LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU thank you for your sweet note!! 

PICS: 
1. colorful bubble fail... 

2. SUNFLOWERSSSSSSS (another reason why we walk....)

3. cat cage 2013 my arm is literally stuck in that position in this picture #disaster

KOKO (In honor of Sis Collins) (August 26, 2013)

QUEEKLY:
ok this week we got our car taken away because i started giving homeless people RIDES!!!
jk jk jk we just had transfers and got put in part time car OMG FIRST WORLD PAINS.
literal.
so.much.walking. but i LOVE it im like a 80 year old grandma at heart because i LOVE walking, KANSAS IS GORGEOUSSSSSSSSSS
think like Sacred Grove....but EVERYWHERE its so so so awesome.
90 degree weather with 100% humidity......so so so not awesome. but we meet like AWESOME people walking!?!? i.e. people invite you in not to talk about the gospel but to give you water?!?! and "cookies" called narnia cakes?? and we're like
"WHY are you so nice......jointhechurch...Wait what? Oh i said cool coin purse....."
no. but serious these people are like "oh missionaries...i have no time to talk to you....wait do you want some water? come in and chat and talk about how i am a free lance journalist for CNN....Book of Mormon MUSICAL....oh but no no no I dont want to talk about religion...." #HARD

we had our investigator on date, Melissa, tell us yesterday that she had doubts because she was afraid of being "dunked" im like WOMAN THIS IS NOT NBA BASKETBALL THIS IS YOUR SALVATION. DO YOU TAKE A SHOWER???? ITS LIKE THE SAME THING!!! BITE THE BULLET DANG IT. probably not the right approach......but we'll work on that PRAY FOR HER.

We moved in to the ELDERS apartment........(ree ree ree ree ree <---scary like squeaky music you know?....sad attempt)
TRINITY OF TERRIBLE
ANYWAY walk in....bathroom....just like NIIIIGHTMARE.
1. First night = GIANT beatle/cricket/loch ness monster on the ground??!? LIKE WHOOOO is supposed to kill that??? So they left their tennis rackets so we gained like ALL courage to throw a towel over it and just started attacking it with this racket.....turns out it is IMMORTAL??? So we lift up the towel....STILL LIVING.. start smashing again....FLIES OUT AND LANDS ON THE TABLE!!?!?!? we're like what the, Twilight-Bug?????
Anyway that was NOT an adventure I wanted to have....
2. Next night, saying our prayers....gurgling in the bathroom "WHAtthe".........
FOAM FOAM JUST SPEWING OUT OF THE TOILET
SO.MUCH.FOAM.
it smelled like lilacs like laundry detergent you're like "mhmm delicious...WAIT this is the toilet????" so i thought oh, flush it. NO explosion.
SUCH a disaster...no towels...except the towels we use on our BODIES ..........awkward eye contact like who will volunteer theirs first.......FINE we both will make it even.
3. tiny toaster....tried to shove this GIANT bagle from panera (btw THE BEST BAGLES EVER???) doing something else....look over...FLAMES!?!?!?! that was 100% my fault...but we still blame the Elders.
I have videos of all of this but its too big to send but just know it is SO classic.

Lawrence is AMAZE. Since the Elders transferred we now have DOUBLE the teaching pool which actually is just SO overwhelming?? like i feel like so many people are falling through the cracks but HOW could we ever complain about TOO much work!?!? yeah never.

KOKO.
Sorry so short CRAYZAY busy day. More next week.
LOVE YOU ALL

Love,
Sister Murray

SHOUOUTS
-to my mother. LOVEEEEEEEEED the skirt. loved it worn it like 12 times. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING got it all. LOVED all the pics haha seriously ALL of your outfits were ON POINT.
-HAYLEY BRADLEY i died. your b-day package was PERFECT THANK YOU LOVEE LOVE YOU
-ALEXANDRA LYNN YOUR INVITATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #tears #ofjoy

Negative Ghostrider the pattern is full.....(August 19, 2013)

SO......transfers this week...........had a special District Meeting on Sunday where they TOLD us where everyone was going in Lawrence.......mistake......because that changed.............and blindsided everyone. 

WHAT I KNEW .1 SECONDS AGO: 

that we were STAYING in Lawrence 1st (5th transfer in same place and i was THU-RILLED) and that the Elders that just came to double cover our ward (LOVE them, they are on fire such a blessing FINALLY got in the groove of working together as as TEAM) were going to be double transferred out and in to Lawrence 2nd Ward (where i originally started for like 1 week..) FOLLOWING? and the 2nd ward SISTERS would be leaving to different places. Tears were shed (from everyone but us because we were sittin' pretty staying where we were......minus the fact that we were HOMELESS but I love Salvation Army so I was like.....I'm ok with this not having a home thing??) done. check. locked in. 

IMAGINE OUR HORROR WHEN WE LOG ON AND IT IS US who is being transferred BACK to the 2nd Ward.....................................

full circle. 

So I'm staying in Lawrence.......but changing Wards....................AND.IT.IS.TORTURE!!!!!!!

It's hard enough leaving your area..but then to leave your area to GO NEXT DOOR AND BE FORCED TO WATCH ELDERS TAKE ALL OF YOUR INVESTIGATORS!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

dead.mind.exploded.dying...inside.......NOOOOOOOOOOO

ok. enough of that. IM OK. 

i think. 

pray for me. 

IN OTHER NEWS.......we get a freebie baptism this Saturday from the other Sisters??? #feelin'guilty

ok ok ok so BEFORE my mind got scrambled like an egg....these WERE the highlights...which now turned to lowlights thinking that I want get to help their progression! (AH) but the Elders really are FANTASTIC so it's a blessing.......and a curse. 

WUT. 

haha ok i was going to erase everything but it's better if you just FOLLOW THE PATTERN OF CHAOS RIGHT NOW. 

Just got a text from the Zone Leaders saying the transfer list was wrong and we are ACTUALLY still in 1st Ward???? RIGHT WHEN I GOT COMFORTABLE SAYING IM IN 2nd?!?!? hahaha LITERAL fiasco. 

So I'm just not saying anything anymore. 

HIGHLIGHTS: 

SHOWERED WITH GIFTS AT SALVATION: 

-diamond ring big as my knuckle REAL........i'm like hmmm you sure? YES REAL....so we sold it and made GOBS of millions of dollars and we BOUGHT Salvation Army and now they all WORK for us writing our numbers on the thousands of mormon.org cards and pamphlets we haven't filled out yet.................

-oh and we also got Rusty tomatoes....like the only way to describe them thats what they looked like....someone "grew" them so we're like ................................. delicious...............................

-and basically could make a bouquet out of the fake silk flowers I got......which i usually re-gift to Liz the lady who works upstairs......until the person asked for it back as we were leaving....??? .........awkwardfumbling....ohcan'tseemtofinditinmygiantbag................................................... #crap

Dinner: me vs. the ants. 

Trying so hard to concentrate on the convo....whilst WWIII commences under my napkin........so gross......never will look at black pepper the same.... 

PICKING RASBERRIES: I'm like...is this service or is this heaven???????????? #bestdayever 

MOVED: chaos....so much stuff.....tiny Ford Fusion.......obstruction of vision at every angle.....ALIVE. 

Etiquette dinner....with the BEEHIVES?? and Sister Campo (bless her)....after a failed attempt at setting a place setting because they stole the cheat sheet.....resulted in cancelling everything and watching them zipline for 20 minutes #success 

LAST ZONE MEETING BEFORE TRANSFERS (half the zone leaving) = ALL of us going out to eat...tiny little local Mexican resturaunt in Topeka + 100 million missionaries = SO MUCH CONFUSION so overshelming....not enough Spanish....we are so weird. Like just so many collared short sleeved shirts........LOVE it. 

Guilt tripping Neil (the hospital janitor) in to meeting with us....COUNTING IT AS A SUCCESS?? #winning

-DIANE! Salvation Army like LIFE OF THE PARTY! ......possibly dating recent convert Troy?? tbd 

IN LOVE with an Elder who served here 6 months ago CONVINCED she has his "personal cell phone number" "HE GAVE IT TO ME!, lets call him!!" ....EVERY Elder since has played along which is SO funny "do you want to talk to him?" SURE "hey this is Elder haws....not Elder McCalley...", EXCEPT this last Elder....to see her face of disappointment... HEART BREAKING. 

Went to those tiny cities in our area (McClouth)just lost...like a lot. 

physics teacher/teaching us magic tricks for like 20 min?? UM YES? but so caught up....wait why are we here agian? OH YEAH THE GOSPEL! 

SO MANY HORSES 

Less Active......with some lazy eye(s) (plural) ...........where do I look.......where do I look........30 min later....realize i picked the wrong eye.....thinks I've been ignoring her this whole time WHY. 

LASTLY week topped off yesterday by Parker Christensen re-incarnated as a girl SO awesome - walks in to Church late with a scarf over her head like shaking/shuffling down the aisle to the VERY front pew...grandma/Muslim character down to how she sang the hymns all shaky at the TOP of her lungs, i seriously was like.....wait. WHY are we not best friends yet. Shes 13. Besties for life. 

HOPE your week was as confusing as mine. Because it makes your life that much more awesome. 

LOVE YOU ALL 

Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

nobody. Either you all hate me, or the mission office is holding my mail for transfer week. :) 

LOTS-O-LOVE, 

me. 

Rul quick. (August 12, 2013)

Ok, this is going to be BRIEF. 

I went on exchanges and had to go up to Manhattan (like a knock-off version of Lawrence, literally.) it was like CRAZY busy/last minute? So i had like.........nothing? Sister ______ (they are in a trio) "oh you can wear my sweats! oh you can use my pillowcase, i just washed it! Yeah, here use my towel I just washed it too!" Wow thanks Sister_____!! 

...........

Next morning about to take a shower, other Sister comes over, awkwardly whispers "just so you know, Sister ___ has ring worm, so......................" *hands me her towel* 

-Wearing Sister____'s shirt- 

-been wearing it all night-

-what the is ring worm-

-help me-

Oh yeah also on Exchanges...they hadn't been to the store for a while.....so like breakfast..."popcorn?" ....lunch......."tortilla with peanut butter"...? 

RING WORM AND MALNOURISH-ment = the best day of my life. naturally. 

So lady who fed us parasitical meat and fish and corn in pan? New delicacy "harvard beets" or something? mmm delicious! 

-get up to get "seconds"...just going to put those back...in the pot.....come back with empty plate....dont question it-

ZONE CONFERENCE:had to spend the night because it was so far away "midnight devotional" with some sisters that we stayed with (because we can't have sleepovers) BEST EVER. Except they had this GIANT air mattress like literally California King blow up mattress...who knew they made those? So we just slept like sardine style? Which technically wasn't breaking rules because it says don't share a bed with your COMPANION...not dont share a bed with 4 other companions.....so......

but nightmare 2013 trying to blow it up and couldnt find the leak.....so just kept pumping it up.....leak sealed itself without telling us............so bed now=a sheet of bedrock. So basically we slept on the floor that was elevated 2 feet off the ground. #suchawaste 

Lastly, had some pretty spiritual experiences this week: 

1- met with a Less Active (the one who MIRACLE-ly? lived with that guy Rich who was the alcoholic we had been searching for for months? Scott Kessler? 

Ok so he has some pretty crazy ideas of the church, but still has a foundation of a testimony, in her lesson with Rich Scott was piping in with his testimony AWESOME.................until the end when he said the church was falling apart and no where in the bible does it say that there should be a seventy......

-ok do we address the apostate LA or the investigator??? neither????- 

Scott.....meet with us next week. 

So we meet with Scott, bring sister neill...........(who is also less active?? thought it was a good idea at the time.....) basically now addressing TWO different less actives concerns about the organization of the Church. 

But then Scott tells us about how he has received dreams since he was 14 about where he needs to find the brass plates...and how he is supposed to walk across the atlantic to retrieve them and then end in Jerusalem....but he hasnt read the BOM in years or been to church because that would "cloud is mind" with the discussion ending in him "losing his ability to speak" so he wrote everything down on a piece of paper he wanted to say ......................................so as odd as it sounds NOW- in the moment, it was like CRYSTAL clear what I needed to say, do, respond to.  

In PMG it talks about feeling successful as a missionary when you feel the Spirit working THROUGH you, and honestly at that moment, despite the CRAYness i FELT it. I knew EXACTLY how to respond, what to say and STILL felt he love God had for His lost son Scott....

and WHO walks in to Church Sunday and stays for all 3 hours?

Brother Kessler. 

The Church is true, book is blue. 

LOVE YOU ALL 

lame email I KNOW. but this week has been MORE than crazy. 

OH we're being kicked out (in a nice way) since the Yates are having a family friend move in who is a 17 yr old boy.....which means see ya later Sisters. 

SO we still have no home.....................so send mail to the mission office until next week.

7011 E 13th St N

Wichita KS

67206

MUCH LOVE

Sister Murray  

PICS:

1. my favorite kids ever, they lived in Japan when they were little so they LOVE peace sign. 

2. Me and Sister Smartt from my MTC district, LOVE her, Zone Conference 

3. last but not least.............DENNIS from Salvation Army.......AS WE ARE TAKING this pic he puts his arm around me MAY DAY MAYDAY arm is reaching back to un-latch the situation but just turns out looking so bad.....but then so good because his girlfriend is in the forefront....so couldn't not share. 

Shououts! 

Mitzi- Best talk ever!!! THANK YOU!

Smashley- package??? you kiddin me????? SO GREAT I LOVE YOU

MOM- got my skirt TODAY its so so so cute, LOVE it!! THANK YOU! 

Needles and Thread (August 5, 2013)

Troy. Remember him? (Recent convert) He's been struggling lately, so we met with him, and he CEASES to amaze me with his RIDICULOUS analogies (i.e. his life compared to a floating chair.), but his last one was actually amazing. 

Sewing. 

You see the stitches on the top, but you can't see the ones underneath. 

Simple.

The stitches on top are like faith, you can't see it ALL, but you have faith that the stich is going to hold your fabric together, no questions. Stitches on bottom like blessings, you don't always know what you will be blessed with until AFTER the trial of your faith.

Isn't it amazing that in Liberty Jail, easily the LOWEST part of Joseph Smith's life, so hard we could ask ourselves WHY did he have to suffer it?--we begin to see the bottom stitches, and realize the AMAZING revelations that came from it!!  The hard things we go through- we are truly BLESSED from! 

Ok, so enough preachin, lets get down to some "stitchy" situations. (O.M.GGGGGG. yeah that one came out of nowhere. I'm so proud of my pathetic pun attempts)

First of all, I have faith that we WILL find an apartment and not become homeless........................................#blessingsyettocome 

Second, I have faith that without our fearless leader/Ward Mission Leader who is about to be consumed into a Football season that our entire ward mission will not fall apart...........#blessingsyettocome 

Third, I have faith that I will not develop some sort of disease after last nights dinner. #blessings............hopefullycoming 

SIDENOTE: 

Fast Sunday yesterday. Easily the best/worst day of the mission. Best because serious MIRACLES occur. Worst- your energy level comes somewhere close to -74% 

ULTRA SIDENOTE: 

Sister Engebretsen is terrified of fish. LIke gets nauseous thinking about having to eat it. So yeah I take the bullet like A LOT, like on thursday when we had SALMON that was so fishy.....my blessings of enjoying fish are like.......................run dry.

 --dryheave-swallow-mashup-rest-to-look-like-you-ate-it--

Anyway, Sister ______  is INFAMOUS for making..................."Oh i forgot you were coming........All i have left is frozen fish and a can of corn...PERFECT. we'll put it all in a dish with a little water and cook it on high in the oven....TOTES delish." 

.............................................

So she is feeding us on FAST Sunday. 

So Sister E calls to find out time..."any requests?" Oh Spaghetti! (in her mind she THINKS this is a safe option...........#rookiemistake 

"PERFECT! I have like LOADS of frozen spaghetti I made 2 weeks ago I've been dying to get rid of! See you at 5!" 

.........

"Dear Heavenly Father please bless that we live through the night....."

So we show up, ready to attack frozen spaghetti, 1,000 prayers offered that we will be ok and that it will taste like manna from heaven. 

Smells......decent (frozen garlic bread, whatev we'll take it.) 

Sister ________ offering the prayer now.....

"And please bless that we will be safe from any parasites that are found in the meat..." 

one more time for good measure, I REPEAT: 

"Please bless that we will be safe from any parasites found in the meat..."

lost it. 

.....QUE sifting through sauce taking out pieces of meat, praying that if we DO get a parasite we will at least lose weight from it, then sifting through sauce again.........

Lastly, I had another dream, but this time I was swimming through a giant Cafe Rio salad, and it was joyous.   NOT that I am craving that right this second or anything as I sit here in this public library surrounded by people who think that the Telestial Kingdom of Chipotle is the highest level of Mexican Food. #sofooled 

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! 

Love, Sister Murrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

SHOUTOUTS: 

MOM! packages, AMAZE!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Grace: the postcards keep coming??? THANK YOU

CROOKS!!!!: GREAT HARVEST GRANOLA!??????????????????? WHERE.HAVE.I.BEEN. LITERALLY LIKE FRUIT OF THE GODS I AM SO SO SO OBSESSED WITH IT THANK YOUUUUUUU and for all of your sweet birthday notes THANK YOU 

Smashley; I am running out of adjectives to describe you. MAKING.MY.LIFE.!!!! 

SUMSIONS!!! AH so excited for Ben!!!! I ESPECIALLY love the prestamped envelope to him!! Sending him something toDAY hopefully he gets it in time!!! 

State of the Union. (July 29, 2013)

So I had this dream the other night...

Along walks this girl, moseying around, stopping to pick flowers, etc etc.  Everything is SO green, and beautiful, and there is a complete absence of any sort of insect or bug.  

Cliff appears. 

Think like Emperors New Groove VALLEY with rickety old bridge running across.  

Girl continues walking....passer-bys telling her "don't go! no!" but she goes anyway. 

Snaps. 

Saw this one coming. 

But DID you see Johnny Depp swing by in a giant cage made out of reeds?? Yeah- story takes a turn and it now resembles something like Pirates of the Caribbean when they are being chased by cannibals. 

She finds herself hanging on to this old rickety bridge like it's her LIFE line. Johnny Depp swings by again, 

"hey you are so dumb! Let go of the bridge! I promise just let it go."

So she does. 

But instead of falling through the air-- she is still suspended.

Because she is harnessed in with 12 more ropes and pulleys. 

So she begins to repel. 

Belay on.                           (editors note <--BELAY!? what.is.that.word.)

She's sittin pretty enjoying herself when she looks up, crazy aboriginal people sawing at her ropes on the errand of Johnny Depp. 

SNIP. 

WHAT THE! You kiddin me?? STOP. JOHNNY D! I thought we were friends!?!? 

One by one they are cut away, until finally, the final thread. 

As she is falling she is thinking "ok this is seriously so.dumb. like I was freakin BELAYING DOWN THIS MOUNTAIN DID YOU SEE HOW COOL I LOOKED???? YOU MUST HATE AMERICA---" 

.............until she gently falls into a glistening mound of frog eye salad and she's like, "omg can this even be real. Yes, yes it is," while she falls back hugging a giant marshmallow in total bliss. 

Sometimes, the Lord asks us to do things with our WHOLE heart, WHOLE might, and ALL of our strength.  

Sometimes He asks people named Melissa to go WAY outside of their comfort zone, exerting all her might, mind, and strength, and just SHOW UP at Church, knowing ZERO people, but just WINGIN' it! Because he asks her to investigate the truth with ALL of her soul, not just half.  So she does it, and its amazing. 

Sometimes He asks missionaries to go look for an apartment RIGHT when all of the students of KU come back in to town, and expect it get done quickly. And they're like WAIT there are so many other things we could be doing, let us only put half of our effort in and end up wandering in circles for 3 hours with no luck. 

--Let the aboriginals CUT YO DANG ROPE and the Spirit will trip you the next day as you stumble upon an apartment complex right by the church where a leasing agent named Chrystal with an "h" will tell you she and her boyfriend have been searching for a Church and your name tag looks "cute" not weird because she loves Jesus Christ!!!! #comingtochurch 

Sometimes, He asks people named Randy to LET GO of the fear and the excuses and shove the word "belay" down somebody's throat because it's such a confusing and meaningless rock climbing word ANYWAY (Kendel, dont hate) and to just stop repelling and cut the dang rope and BE BAPTIZED BY SOMEONE HOLDING THE PRIESTHOOD AUTHORITY OF GOD!

But I mean, it was just a dream. So whatever.

So my week this week was great..........

:) 

LOVE YOU ALL! 

Love, 

Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

Pretend like your name is Benjamen Button and we are working backwards in time??? 

Becuase these are all from last week.....and we have been staying in Lawrence in this week to stay out of the way of the Yates Wedding Extravaganza so I haven't gotten any mail this week. 

Best extended birthday week ever!!!! 

-Jayci!! LOVE YOU best birthday card ever! 

-JESS EVANSON!?!?! !#%^(@*!&*)$*@()$* yes. your letter BLEW MY MIND. best ever. 

-ASHLEY PACK! Seriously, you cease to amaze me, like i just start laughing/crying when I go to the mailbox and see your name basically every day. 

-CHAYLA!!!!! THOSE.CARDS. CANT EVEN FORM WORDS IM SO IN LOVE THANK YOU

-JillianJohnson!!! WHAT THE WHAT YOUR LETTER!!! sooooo great, writing you back TODAY

-KAREN! Your birthday card, SO GREAT! LOVE YOU!! 

-JEN AND DIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! birthday.package. SO SO GREAT!!! WANTED TO CRY! LOVED LOVED LOVED IT ALL!!!! 

-Grace- POSTCARDS loving them. 

-VIV BABE- the letter. SO GREAT. in huge letters so you'll continue to feel guilty when you don't see your name is this section ;) 

-Sister Reeves! Love your letters! Even the group kind, THANK YOU. 

To my famaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (July 22, 2013)

Sometimes you just wanna give the windshield a good-ole high five. 

With your forehead. 

*Cue brakes slamming.*

(shout out to mah main man Everything is Illuminated.......and Sister Christenot) 

The greatest day of my life was when we were eating at a members home and the wife was telling us about how her husband was trying to show off at the gym and next thing you know, he's high fiving the ground.....with his face. 

So yeah, big deal! So what! He was trying to do a handstand push up and sometimes your mind is just way stronger than your arms. 

And that's basically my week. 

Just high-fivin around town like it ain't no thang. 

FIRST lets begin with the literal high-fives. 

-Salvation Army.......need I say more? Ok I will.

Dennis. 

He is a small man who shaves his head and wears a diamond ring. Because he is TAKEN. 

By the Manican out in his shopping cart.

Not.lying. 

Sometimes he brings his wife in....sometimes its just her legs.........sometimes just her head. Just depends on what part of her he's in a fight with. 

YEAH TELL ME YOU DO NOT LOVE THIS MAN. 

Oh yeah and he calls me "baby" like every day.....which isn't weird because he also calls the Elders that too.............#somanyhugeeyes 

Walks in-asking EVERYONE to undo a knot in a pair of basketball shorts he somehow had acquired....no one...no one.....I'm like yeah, my arms are really strong, so are my fingers, GIVE ME THE SHORTS. gloves are off. So confident......

TIGHTEST KNOT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. 

but literally SWEATING 17 minutes later.........knot is undone. #17miraclesthrowbackthursday

--high fives all around--A FEW HUGS---more high fives--

NEXT: 

We had this miracle tracting. 

Bit off more than we could chew. 

Ended up tsunami of a disaster. 

Phase 1: tracting. no success.. little girl comes RUNNING after us like angel from the sky appeared out of NO where, "I like your skirt--wait who are you? I LOVE church and i want to go! I'm 11 and i'm soooooooo cute and please can I go?" <-----all of a sudden it hits me OMG THIS IS SAGE CROOK RE-INCARNATED IN KANSAS!! So my heart melts and I'm like YES come to church, lets talk to your mom. 

Phase 2: come back a few days later. Long story short being drug from one house to the next getting more and more kids inviting more and more families til literally I'm like "wait...church count: like 1200???" 

Ok there were 4 kids BUT STILL. 

All the families like "wow- we need something like this in our life!" JUST OUT OF MY MIND EXCITED GETTING PERMISSION LEFT AND RIGHT. 

then the last family.........................."do you believe in the gift of tongues?" 

NO. 

"oh...............well it says it in the Bible?" 

Yeah....like we interpret it like missionaries can speak Korean and stuff.....

#palmfacehighfive 

WHAT. worst answer in the history of the church. BUT they still agreed to come. And they were the best family 

PHASE INCEPTION 1: 3 weeks ago I met this family talking to another potential investigator who works at the hospital who we are OBSESSED WITH so awesome..........except he might be in jail.............AND I REMEMBERED IT AND BROUGHT IT UP? and they TOTALLY trusted me after that because I knew Neil?????????????????? serious whatthewhat. 

Ok Phase 4: My arms are feeling like SO SO STRONG I'm like yeah 700 handstand pushups, because we now have TWELVE investigators planning to come to church, TWELVE. I'm on top of the world, we pull up to the houses............

no kids ready.....................frantically doing childrens hair now?? 

Throwing them in seats...buckling........frantic....late for Church................drive away (member is driving not THAT many rules broken...) 

REALIZE PARENTS ARE NOT THERE. Didn't come. swindled us into babysitting? 

Felt ok about it because felt SO bad for these children, super rough family situation (except golden family) so i'm like forget it- we're going to church! 

.........................totally EXHAUSTED, sweating, hair pulled every which way, and 700 rules broken LATER....took them home. 

Learned our lesson. 

NEVER bringing children to church again, without parents, like the white handbook says. 

#palmfacehighfive 

Lastly, miracle. 

HQ referral (NEVER get those, and we do, usually a joke.) Melissa. 

show up ready to be attacked by a million dogs and told to go away (oh ye of little faith) 

Leave basically crying with joy because the woman REQUESTED HERSELF and her husband is SO less active he's not even on the roll?? and with a return appointment. 

Had one of the best first lessons EVER, MY testimony was strengthened probably more than hers, she is searching for the Church to raise her 14 month old daughter in, so we brought a member with children similar ages, GOLDEN, so many comments that just hit it home, COMMITTED TO BAPTISM!!? 

High five with the Lord. 

LOVE YOU ALLL! Hope your weeks have been FULL OF HIGH FIVES. 

(reminds me of the time on Wednesday at Salvation.......one man who loves to hug me...and is never wearing a shirt....waiting outside for us to leave (4 elders, 4 sisters);

handshake, handshake, handshake, handshake, HUG????? handshake, handshake, handshake..........Elders now walking him away praying with him......#blessings 

-Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

crap next week. I forgot my list. 

PIC: 

if you dont love them, you crazy

jk thats my god child named JORDYN 

love THESE ones.