Mama Harris.
IN JAIL.
went.to.JAIL. LIKE LITERAL JAIL.
omg omg omg OK FROM THE TOP.
Refresher: she is the 78-year-old woman who calls us her "chill-drun" and is a quaritkan (quarter African but really she looks black??)
OK so her REAL kids disowned her when she started meeting with the missionaries so thus adopting the entire mission as her own family (literal). Like she's already given me things from her house....like from her will........WHAT THE. #loveit
SO she goes down to Texas (Dallas--where she is from) to try ONE last time to make contact with her kids.
O btw her bestie is a 78 year old man named Ferrell who lives in Dallas. and they are NOT in love. #secretlytheyareiSWEAR but they talk all the time.
Ok so we ship her off, gave her some Etta James CD's for the car ride down she DIED (she loves her) don't hear from her for a few days........(not normal)
Wake up to a call "YO MAMA IS A JAILBIRD!!!"
Turns out Bonnie and Clyde aka Joann and Ferrell were walking up to her kids house, they call the POLICE and tell them that these people are STALKING them (don't mention it is their MOTHER) they HANDCUFF HER Ferrell is somehow face down in the DIRT.... HER WIG FALLS OFF (she's basically bald) ......Ferrell is using a WALKER yet somehow these policemen are WRESTLING them!?!?
#onthenews
MADE THE 10:00 DALLAS NEWS! like replayed 3 different times.
GOT A LAWYER to get the video taken down (which we were HEART BROKEN over because I am dyyyyyying to see it.
All this on Ferrell's 78th Birthday.
Anyway kids came to bail them out cause they were like oh....yeah that was our Mom #oops (even though they TOTALLY knew) seriously PSYCHOS
Anyway....had to get worse until it got better....? because they are on speaking terms and are now coming for Christmas.
But her and Ferrelll went to see the Dallas Temple and this returned missionary from Uganda took them on a little tour (she is IN LOVE with him)
(Talking on the phone with her)
"Oh mmmmyyyy!! Baby iss beautiful! I'm lookin up at thu Cathedral...the steeple! Why iss Joseph Smith up there blowin on a horn! .....juss beautiful....you know he the most handsome man in the whole world? the most.handsome. I just love that Joseph Smith......."
"--No, no Mama that is MORONI he is an angel.....not Joseph Smith...although yes yes he is handsome......yes second most handsome after Jesus........."
HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE HER. Seriously people she LOVES mail from anybody, so SEND HER A LETTER. With pictures. She keeps them all in an album .... so funny.....never even met half of these people but she acts like they are her family.
OK Judy story of the week:
When she told us about the time a big man tried to steal her FANNYPACK. (old man gruff voice mixed with German accent) "Hey lady--give me your fanny pack"
OMG tears. of joy. I wish I had it on FILM...but I don't. So instead you can have the picture that is displayed huge on her wall of her graduating some sort of Taekwondo competition.
Also .....told us this random fact that in the German language they have an extra set of thousand zero'ed numbers called "Milliarde"....."I've written it into Jeopardy six times and they won't use it!"
So we start reading the Book of Mormon with her (somehow the other Sisters didn't tell her Jesus came to AMERICA .....so she died over that and we resurrected her faith)....so we're reading in 3 Nephi about the "turning the other cheek" ---shes full of fun facts as she pulls out "well actually the Greek translation SHOULD have been 'turn your cheek and back hand them' *doing the motion*"
"...........hmm....um actually..........no."
We started teaching this lady who lives in a REST HOME. I know.
So we are on exchanges and this sweet sweet Sister just loooooooves to pray. Like every prayer before lessons ANYTHING ...........like 5 minutes long. not.lying. at one point we are just praying real quick before a lesson.....next thing you know 5 minutes later she is STILL praying....we are late......"and now i'd just like to thank thee for our testimonies...let us ponder on how we can build them...nurture them"
HOW ABOUT BY TEACHING THE LESSON WE WERE SUPPOSED TO 5 MINUTES AGO.
But really. LOVE HER.
So Sister Marathon-Prayer is with us teaching Ramona RestHome. Her roommate who hates us because she is Jewish comes in and throws Ramona an ice cream sandwich (this is the room they share in which has a POSTER on the door saying "DYRYT--did you remember your teeth?"
Thank...you...Alice....?
So she tries eating it to be nice without her teeth in...its melting all over....we're like lets just end with a prayer REALLY QUICK because your sandwich......its melting.....
"I will say it..." -Sister Marathon-Prayer #nevaaaa
23 minutes later.....I peek my eyes open (OK OK YES I AM AN APOSTATE MISSIONARY we're over it) and there is Ramona.... like sneaking bites of her ice cream sandwich....I will forever have that image engraven upon my brain for an instant pick me up. So classic.
Lastly a less active who is like GOLDEN (if she hadn't been baptized 4 years ago...and then forgot!) she is so sweet....a chain smoker......and also forgets her teeth on occasion.......
Go over for lesson "I'm so sorry.....but I think i'm going into a sugar comma....."
Oh...ok.....we'll just read...?
Look over- not sure if we she is like King Lamoni and we just killed her with the Spirit... or.....? #sleeping
"We'll let ourselves out then......."
LOVE YOU ALL! you bless-ed bless-ed chiiiild.
Love
Sister Murray
SHOUTOUTS! so.much.love.
MOTHER!! pullin through for the win GOT THOSE CONFERENCE BOOKS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!changingourlives OBSESSED and got the picture AND got my skirts! THANK YOU THANK YOU
ok whoa. PETI TAYLOR!?!?! #loved THANKK YOU!!!!
TOLLMANS!?????????????????? loved loved LOVED
JEN!!!!!!!!! loved your updates!!! so much to respond to!!!
SUMSIONS!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! can't believe you are so Holy with TWO missionaries....LOVE IT
S. Reeves! Loved the update.
SMASHLEY PACK!!!!! NEPAL!?!?!? DONT DIE I think you are there now....so UPDATE ME
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