SO GOOD TO TALK TO YOU YESTERDAY!!! (June 18, 2013)

Seriously made my DAY being able to Skype you yesterday for Fathers day!!!!

.................................................

JK.

JK.

JK.

Ok that joke = NOT funny with the District Leader....like whoa. No sense of humor KILLING ME. He called us last night for our weekly report and he's like

"anything exciting this week?"

"yeah SO crazy, today when we were skyping our families for Fathers day....."

--"WHAT"

"just kidding." laughing......

.........silence......

"oh not funny" <--addressing the awkward............

.................STILL SILENCE.

"ohhhk....well anyway our week..........awkward awkward no recovering ..... ok yup keeping the rules......k bye."

 

So yeah. People here are just like COMEDY HOUR ALL.THE.TIME.

no but actually that may be one of the best moments on the mish. SO.AWKWARD.FUNNY. and those are the best kind. (Retarded Tingles for myself if you will, Seth Michael Johnson)

 

OK I actually do NOT have a lot of time (and not just because I am lazy) but ACTUALLY because SLEEPOVER PARTYYYYYYYYYYYY

but really. I wish i was kidding. NOT.

Zone Conference this month = ROAD TRIP?????? is this even legal!?!?! no idea. But we are straight like polygamist van-ing WITH PRESIDENT driving down to Wichita (like 3 hours away) staying the night frolicking around and then on the way back going to the Temple!?!?!? SO.AWESOME.WANT.TO.DIE.

But actually I'm pretty sure they are trying to soften the blow of the MISSION SPLITTING ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!! thats right, on.my.birthday. RIP

So yeah, we sing I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go....................like a lot.

 

But nothing for sure yet........................................#prettysureiminWichita <---OMG WHAAAAT if that was on my call letter. #wouldnthavecome JK but maybe not.............? haha no but really i am SO excited for whatever BUT the one thing is THE KEYES = (misison presidents) i seriously love them with all of my heart I would pretty much sell my soul for them both and maybe even get my eyes gouged out and tongue cut off if it meant that I could just spend a full day with them. He seriously is the most amazing man on the earth. FUTURE PROPHET, not kidding.

But President Bell looks nice. He'll be great. Right? right. 

 

SPEAKING of things that are awesome..................heres a list full of awesome.

-Manush (Iranian man volunteer at Salvation) kidnapped me, barely had time to grab my companion as he drags us to his car...(i realize that sounds SO creepy...but it wasnt... yet.) Asking me the whole way there "do you have a wall? at your house?? do you have a wall??" YES manush we do. *fumbling around in car* 

World slows down...imagine like movie scene slow mo with epic music in the background...maybe a harp playing even.....pulling something out of bag.....its a giant frame.......what could possibly be inSIDE OF IT OH MY GOSH THAT IS A PICTURE OF MY FACE. blown.up. framed. of me and him.

blown up.

huge.

did i mention it is BLOWN UP HUGE!?!?

Yes. It twas.

So I happen to have like 5 pictures of us together so i finally printed them off and gave them to him (he asked me like 1 million times)...yeah he took that picture and got it BLOWN UP like 450%x original.

His face. so priceless. so happy. BEST THING I WILL EVER RECEIVE EVER. I neeeeed to take a picture and send it like words can't describe. awesome.

 

-Tracting the dorms....expecting college kids, cause its the dorms. Normal. WAIT. you are a man???? AND YOU ARENT WEARING PANTS!?!? like so scarred couldn't finish sentences....didn't know where to look....your names Jerry?? Ok um...I forgot everything I was going to say to you JERRY- here's a mormon.orgcard.....thats all bye. #wut. awesome.

 

-Clare...reading the scriptures.....has some sort of east coast sounding accent.....we think........."And then spank Jesus......"

*lost it*

"What! Was that wrong? Ok i'll start over.......and then spank...."

SPAKE. Spake. spake.

tears.

awesome.

 

-A man sits on the corner by the Church and sells a special kind of onion. That isn't even the awesome part!!

He is some sort of President for the Shriner's people....? Ok. Yes. Are you the people with the little velvet hats? And you drive those tiny cars around in parades? Ok yeah Shriners selling Vadalia Onions....whats that? You save millions of childrens LIVES becasue your foundation is so AWESOME?? And I only knew about the tiny cars and hats?? Correct.........so yeah tell me about driving those little cars around parades.

awesome.

no recovery.

awesome.

 

-Sis Bittinger. Less active. Samoan. Communication barrier. always. Just agree and nod head.

"You used have long hair? CUT OFF??? You know that is source of womens POWER!?!? ...*unrecognizable words*... only way you get husband! No chance you.

But very blue eyes! maybe....mumble mumble mumble."

(me) "Totally!" - wait what???!

awesome.

 

-****ULTIMATE AWESOME*********

Ok OF COURSE I save this for last and I have no time.

Last week, appointment fell through, Sister Christenot felt like we should go visit a Less Active family, go, not home, BUMMER. Wait, this man just passed us lets follow him home....in a non-creepy way......knock a few around his house.....walking away in his garage....go and sit down.

Garage turned lounge. "You preachin??? come on in!" <---automatic love him.

His name is Rich, moved from Kansas City last year from the HOOD <--automatic love him.x2

Recovering alcoholic, sober for 14 months, SITTING DOWN TO TAKE HIS FIRST DRINK!? (passed us on the way home from store)

OMG. as;ldj as;kghas l;kfj

Basically yelled at him that it was a sign we were sent from God to him! Got his number to come back.

awesome.

NEXT WEEK: come back, roomate is there. Rich made us dinner? Getting to know roomate Scott, "yeah I'm a bad Mormon." WAIT WHAT YOU ARE MORMON!?! "Yeah grew up LDS...." -non-chalant freak out.-

Scott asks all these questions about heaven how he left the Church because he doesn't think its fair there are "levels of heaven" everyone created equal........working on come back for that......

Continuing lesson....Scott is now contributing to Lesson1???

Scott WHAT is your last name?

"Kessler" --SCOTT KESSLER= SEARCHING FOR HIM FOR 3 MONTHS RS PRESIDENT GAVE US LIST OF PEOPLE TO FIND. Never found him.

REPEAT HE IS ROOMATES WITH MIRACLE MAN RICH WE FOUND TRACTING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

awesome.

Wrapping up....(Rich) "Yeah, I never used to say 'awesome' because it sounds so whiteish I usually use-(whole list of amazing hoodrat words I am secretly writing down in my planner as he is rattling them off)-but now it just fits so perfect."

AWESOMExmillion.

 

So yeah, everything is "awesome" on the mission. Like I literally find myself saying that SO.MUCH. because awkward conversation filler? "Thats awesome!"

I used to live in Utah.... Thats awesome!

Yeah, we have some friends we want to introduce you to that we will come to lessons with and help convert! (never happens but if it DID) Thats awesome!

We just got back from a trip to KC and ate way good bbq......thats awesome!

(Investigators girlfriend we are working to take lessons) My daughter just got put in jail for the second time this year because she broke probation and I dont know if I should bail her out.........."thats awesome!"

ABORT ABORT NOT AWESOME OMG NO NO NO.

awesome.

 

LOVE YOU ALL

Peace n Blessins ya'll!

Love,

Sister Murray

 

SHOUTOUTS!

Judy Brummer!!! loved your letter!! LOVE YOU ALL

Smash Pack = LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED the pics and LOVED those cute quotes!! all up in my room. obsessed. THANK YOU

SUMSIONS= DOUBLE THE MISH POWER!?!?! CHLOE OMG WE WILL BE SO CLOSE I WILL SHOUT TO YOU EVERY TIME WE DRIVE TOWARDS IOWA....or any direction for that matter because i dont know which direction iowa is.....SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!

last but not least, MOM THAT BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ULTIMATE AWESOME!!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! We were freaking out it is like MADE for a missionary, the pockets on the outside fit the pamphlets like a GLOVE!!! AHH THANK YOU!! and thank you Boo and Jo if you helped pick it out!!! ultimate.

"These are my Confessions..." (June 10, 2013)

Juuuust when i thought I said all i could say....

Seriously. Usher. So good right now. but ONLY IN MY MIND. and only for a second. #Babylon 

Ok. 

Confession #1 every time i say "ahh i have NO time i'm like FREAKING out! like my whole life is just a RUSHHHHHHH I dont even have time to BREATHE let alone let my fingers fly relentlessly at this keyboard!!!!! aa;sldkg j" 

-Thats all a lie.- 

OOPS!

We have 2 hours to email (Thanks First Presidency and their thoughtfulness towards allowing us to talk to frenzzzz!) And so usually that translates into = "I'm so lazy. Don't want to put the thought into this email. Let me just spend the rest of the time watching Mormon Messages. Done." 

Confession #2 I Bible Bashed this week. 

THIS is actually a terrible/wonderful/bitter/sweet/painful/amazing story. (yeah, thats right, ALL of those adjectives.) 

Ok so the Members we live with, youngest daughter named Addie, 17, wants to go on a mission/planning on it. So we took her on like "day in the life" of us? Yeah WE ARE SO COOL..........

Ok so very first lesson EVER. in the history of her life. ever. prepped her for 30 minutes before at the Church, so nervous, role played the lesson like 70 times, got it DOWN, ready to go. 

Show up- CLARES HOUSE! We're like yeah, lets just ease her in, Clare is so nice? Her "sweet" friend Rose who told us she may have felt the Spirit but thought it was an alien entering her body and wanted to learn more? yeah she was there. 

WHAM! 

Sits down, whips out some paper and before we can even BEGIN she is writing down, "Oh-Murray? Yeah changed your mind once. Ok keeping an annoying tally of every time you 'change your mind' but really that is me just wrapping up words and blowing them around confusing everyone in the room, ok yes Murray? yeah thats FIVE times you've changed your mind." 

................................

Ok im like YEAH this is not happening. Sister Christenot is crying because Rose won't let us help each other she like singles you out and refuses to listen to what you are saying anyway. 

Needless to say she was hung up on the Polygamy thing and how that doesn't agree with the Bible that says to take one wife. 

"FOR SOME REASON" I was at a loss for words. First time maybe in my whole life this has happened. Ever. The Spirit literally was confounding me because I realized later I didn't need to argue. (so...many....comebacks....) 

Ok so over here on the good ole' Bible Belt she is flinging verses with no references at us right and left and I do not know the Bible as well as I should and apparently none of us do because I'm pretty sure half of the stuff she said wasn't even in the Bible!?!? But i didnt want to challenge it in case it was! So i FINALLY am feeling SO good I'm like: 

"Ok yeah ROSE check out Amos 3:7 and let that blow your mind about how the Prophet is inspired of God and yes he revealed thats what we should do"

 

-in my mind tiny little Grinch-baby-snicker feeling so good like I just WWF'd her brain- 

And yet, the glory didn't come. I felt worse, on the verge of tears. I could feel the Spirit run away, and all of a sudden my adrenaline was PUMPING like fight or flight mode I'm almost shaking, and that is NOT how you want to be feeling in a lesson. 

And then she just said "oh, what Bible? Then i don't believe in that Bible either." 

ok.

So I laid my weapons down, let her tally us 1 to 1,000,000 and just tried to apologize. 

Clare finally spoke up and was like Rose stop, just be quiet

(me trying to apologize to her) "well Im not allowed to talk this isn't fair she can talk"

(trying to apologize THROUGH Clare to Rose) "well wow, now you are talking about me behind my back? that is rude, you know that is called cornering" 

-a little peek into the life of a game called YOU CAN'T WIN- 

Finally just said a closing prayer, and tears came flooding because for the first time I truly felt SORRY for her! Her husband hasn't come home for like 9 months, she had just had surgery and he came home but refused to see her and was yelling at her on the phone for leaving the house in such a mess when we first walked in-- all of this came flooding back in that moment and i felt the love God had for her, despite how incredibly rude she was to us. I couldn't believe it, but it was such a better feeling than to fight. A switch flipped when we said Amen and she was SO confused when i was just trying to giver her tips on using crutches on our way out....but she said thank you. 

....And then told me the dye in the colors red and black cause cancer. 

-look down, I'm wearing red skirt black shirt.- 

Touche Rose, touche. 

As we were leaving Addie said "I should have told her all of those stories in the Bible where they practiced polygamy" and it wasn't until THAT moment that I realized i had JUST read an entire chapter in a book about how to respond to the polygamy issue for another investigator who had asked the question in a much more civilized manner and realized, God really did not want me to argue today becuase i hadn't remembered one.single.thing. 

MIRACLES 

Ok, that was a really long confession. 

Confession #3 I'm pretty sure I have converted about 900 people to other Churches because 90% of the time they ask where our Church is....they are automatically thinking of the wrong one. Gaurunteed. (There are 13, 13, different Churches within a 1 mile radius of our building.) 

Confession #4 I pretty much gauge our success in our Ward by how many people sign up for meals. 

Theeen we visited a Less Active who told us to come back in a few days, showed up, at 3:45....and she had dinner for us on the table??......um INCEPTION DINNER CALENDAR!?!? 

Ya, I'd say we're successful. 

Confession #5 yesterday at Church sweet Sister Mannering was teaching Relief Society (the one who was converted by the 9 year old) and seriously her shirt was like so.ironed. like SO.CRISP. I was so distracted by it-at one point 14 min into the lesson when I missed my que to read something because I was staring at her cuffs that were just SUSPENDED in mid air slightly turned back (not rolled) because they were so crisp and wrinkle-free- yea i'm like k seriously enough about the shirt. COULDNT STOP. 

COULD be because I've sunk so low in the "i hate to iron" phase that heating up my flat iron and rubbing it on my shirt while it is on my body is me really putting in an effort. #DownyWrinkleSpray erryday. 

LOVE YOU ALL, 

WOW remind me to tell you about the MIRACLE this week about the straight HOODRAT we met named Rich who changed my life. -teaser- 

Love, 

Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS 

Ma BEV! loveddd your letter! Sending you one back today!! 

ALYSSA!?!?!? yeah. THAT BLEW MY MIND!!!! love love love love love love your package! AH THANK YOU 

Sister Reeves! (mom tell her thank you) 

Erica Tanner - yes. LOVED all of your kid ideas, they are GOLDEN thank you! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAGE BABE!!!!! I'm sending you a lil sum'n sum'n!! love you!!! 

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally!" (June 3, 2013)

ROFL. yeah that joke just raced to my #1 spot. Especially because a little 13 year old told me it. (Gager she is right up your alley!) 

OHHHHHK. 

PS parents apparently you died on your cruise? or you are gallivanting having to much fun you FORGOT ABOUT ME!? #forgiven 

Perseverance: to persevere. (theme of the week) 

So Tuesday we had Exchange$ (can't ever write exchange$ without $ thanks Anne Collins) 

and yeah wow $$$$$$$ 

Miracles happen on exchange$. 

Randy: randomly tells us about this letter a previous missionary who was working with him wrote him like months ago he found. She talked about this story he had told her about his 5th grade class (retired elementary school teacher) they had to present a word of the month in an all school assembly and they chose the word "perseverance". He was so proud of his class they put together this huge production, wrote the whole script themselves etc. everyone loved it. Anyway the missionary compared that to his life and just talked about "persevering" and how he just needs to keep doing what he is doing and the rest will come! 

We're like ok cool story thank you moving on. 

.....awesome lesson............blowing minds with our awesomeness blah blah........ inspired jewels flowing out of my mouth etc. (or something similar....) 

THEN this scripture just EXPLODED out of the page that was perfect for Randy. Alma 32:16...we read it

"Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God, and is baptized without stubborness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe."

.....he laughs because it is SUPER bold and SO exactly written for him it was almost freaky. 

THEN is finger just slams down on the page...I'm like what? look down, pointing at some sort of footnote...slow motion my eyes go to the page.......TG: PERSEVERANCE

ASDFLKJE 28476 2P5IJ DKLGJASL;FJK ASLKJ!@$#$^@$%@$%@#56

yeah. 

LITERALLY had a miniature heart attack and maybe showed him a little TOO much excitement over that and forced him to believe that was a sign!?? But seriously. It was. What are the odds of that. I even looked up Perseverance in the tg and oh, there is ONE scripture reference, that verse not even being one of them!?!?!? Yeah. 

So I decided to persevere when I found out I'm in Lawrence for ANOTHER 6 weeks. 

Decided to persevere when my COMP got called to be the new Sister Leader!?!? (miniature mind explosion) 

Persevere when there was an EXODUS from our ward?? INCLUDING the Miles (heart...breaking...millions of pieces. favorite family with the awesome kids that tell stories about ted bundy and all talk at the same time.) which adds to the SERIOUS lack of men in our Ward......and leaves us Ward Mission Leader-less for the 17th week in a row............................

Persevere when Clare called us crying because she had just read 2 Nephi 4 and it SPOKE to her and she couldn't stop crying for 2 days......(not actually hard to persevere through that) 

Persevere when Clare got so emotional during Church (day after 2 Nephi experience) that she tried to BOLT literally bolt. And here I am sitting in the pew literally wrestling a grown woman to stay sitting in her seat becuase the "Spirit of God" hymn was like overpowering us at that moment? ...............................and then persevere while we drove all the way to Independence (one.whole.hour.) going 65 miles per hour on a 75 (which techincally means 80) freeway because Clare is terrified of driving and she was gripping the steering wheel so hard she burst a blood vessel....so naturally I find myself feeding her mini-wheats to calm her down. YEAH it was Fast Sunday. Running low on snack options.

Persevere during Presidents Devotional where our Recent Convert WINSTON took like half the time because he got everyone going on comedy hour?? (yeah oops FORGOT to prep him and tell him it was just a quick testimony of your conversion not a sermon given Comedy Central? but whatev everyone LOVED it you can't not love this man. He is so solid. The one who baptized Troy.) 

Persevered when we were tracting and this guy is trying to tell us how he went to SLC to the "main Mormon service" 

Oh, the Conference Center? -no-

...the Tabernacel? -no-

Temple Square?....--hm no the MAIN thing-

Salt Lake Temple? -no like the main main thing- OMG

BYU? Visitors Center? MTC? Provo Temple? Draper Temple? Every other Temple in Utah? Church Building in Salt Lake? Stake Conference? Sacrament Meeting? THIS IS THE PLACE MONUMENT?? -no.-

......Tabernacle? "yeah that's it, giant organ? went there." 

#saidthat9times #persevere 

Lastly persevered through TALAPIA. Like HOW MANY PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH ACTUALLY EAT FISH FOR REAL. apparently 1,576,396. 

Yo yo ma. 

Peace n Blessins. 

-Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

CHELS!! you live. so glad. made my day. PHYSICIANS DESK REFERENCE? so classic. DIED. 

STRING! love love love you!!! So glad you are alive as well!! Ensign = perfect! 

Samuel DAVID Rosen!!! yes yes yes yes yes yes seriosuly could not stop smiling reading your letter! haha thank you! seriously made my day! 

MITZI- you cease to amaze me. Those quotes LITERALLY are so perfect for every.single.one.of our investigators! can't wait to give them out this week THANK YOU!

PICTURE: I KNOW. #tendermercy

D!$@pp0!nt3d (May 27, 2013)

That says disappointed. In cryptic language. (shout out to B-Tuck) And that means this e-mail will be a disappointment. I have like NO time and my mind is literally like a scrambled egg so................................................although i do LOVE scrambled eggs. SPEAKING of my talent of scrambling eggs--it has gone UPHILL? like literally who knew that was possible?? A new invention called burrito sized tortillas-turned breakfast burritos??? yeah changed my life. and also my companions.

 

where to begin.

Wait. I feel SO guilty about pfating. LIke i can't even talk about it without it sounding like a joke!?!? but know that i am serious when i say we are praying for people in Oklahoma and i had NO idea things were exploding outside the world around me last week when i was emailing?? But we are TOTALLY fine. Thank you for all of the concern. no tornados here.

 

I tried what i thought was a dried banana this week and it actually was a plantane "salsa" flavored. WHAT. what even IS that. like ew no die a thousand deaths.

I also had fish. AGAIN. and i was kind of kidding like inside joke to myself and was like "oh i LOVE fish" MAY DAY MAY DAY MISTAKE because then cute little 4 foot asian lady named Nang is all "oh good! heres the biggest piece." NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. but yes. that happened. (note to self: inside jokes to yourself NEVER a good idea?)

 

Randy basically said that the Church is true but he is just hung up because his family is borderline anti? His wife is volunteer cooridnator at  REST HOME so i'm like UM YES BEGGING HER TO LET US VOLUNTEER? win/win. i love old people. and we bond with the border-line-anti-wife while calling out Bingo numbers? yeah. #blessings

 

Had interviews with President. WOW he saved my life. Automatic favorite man in the world. Like i'm preeeettty sure he might be one of the three Nephites? #oops #wentthere (couldnt stop thinking about how Anne's whole interview was about exercising?? shout out sista collins. but it gave me the motivation to come in a little OVER prepared (i.e. list of questions) yeah....took up a lot of time....but he changed my life? So like, sorry district, but be ok with it because now I am determined to baptize an entire community of old people playing Bingo? what? 

 

Alex (investigator) came to our lesson with a TYPED list of questions with quotes from mormon.org? I was like "oh yeah. ok this is totally normal, stuff i've seen loads before. Sure lets just go down through your bullet-pointed list and blow your mind with the gospel that covers every single question. Then we'll shake hands and walk away and then have like a mini Quincenera in my mind/in the car once we are out of ear shot?? #BAPTIZED ... but he doesnt know it yet...pray for him.

 

We got to go to the Temple this week OMG. SOO PRETTY. Obsessed with it. Kansas City Temple is bomb.com

Then we got kidnapped by SIs Neill who gave us a ride home (bless her) and she took us to the "MOST FAMOUS KANSAS CITY BBQ IN THE WORLD" ...or in Kansas City... Like CANNOT tell you how much she talked this place up that she has never been to but apparently it started KC bbq amongst the whole world? like "world famous". I was DYING when we pulled up to this GHETTO part of town. like ghe.tto. and it was this tiny little hole in the wall with a crooked sign saying 'worlds best' and i couldnt stop thinking of Elf and just wanted to walk in and be like WOW CONGRATUALTION WORLDS BEST. wow. Worlds best.

but seriously it was pretty good. Arthur Bryants? Someone reserach that. They had a picture of Steven Speilberg on the wall who allegedly came there so I'm like um yeah...you def could be worlds best?

Ordering = chaos. Imagine Cafe Rio times 1,0000000000. like SO stressful because the people who are barking at you to get your order are not cute little hispanic men full of smiles but instead hoodrats who are packing heat and could basically throw a dart at your soul with their eyes? but yeah somehow we made it through the line ALIVE and left with a clogged coronary artery.

 

WAIT. a plague has entered the world. = SUMMER SALES. We just ran into a mini-goldsgym sized group of Vivint's at Chipotle i was like noooooo so... many....lifted....trucks....and bro's..... To see them in action. Wow. If you know what i mean you KNOW what I mean. #speechless

 

WOW this email blows.

 

GOD BLESS.

 

(scrambled egg mind remember disclaimer)

 

I swear so many more spiritual things happened but I'm so distracted by so many factors AND all of the Elders are playing Words With Friends but BOARD GAME VERSION?? i'm like wait. Games exist without technology??? WHO KNEW.

 

Love,

Sister Murray

 

 

 SHOUT OUTS!

Mom got my clothes! wow CHRISTMAS seriously sad how much joy it brought me.

GRACE!!!!! ahhhhhhhhh LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!! those pics were AWESOME. seriously. LOVED IT! LOVE YOU.

Hermana Clark - keep it up Sista! loved your letter. MTC is bomb.

SMASH! - LOVED your envelope. me and my comp were dying. LOVE YOU

AUNT BOO- yeah you are cruisin right now but LOVED YOUR LETTER and don vito i hope you are alive?? did Gage and his minions drive you crazy?? im so sorry LOVE you.

MEGSKOUS! yes. your letter/pictures. OBSESSED

@TornadoesRmyFriendzz (May 20, 2013)

Since I can't Tweet anymore/never really did....? But it's like being on a diet and as soon as you say you CANT do something you're like um wait I'm pretty sure I need that 160 characters to express my inner feelings or random thoughts about life or else I might roll over and die? 

Thus, if I could have a Twitter, here is what I'd Tweet: 

"Just ate Salmon....that was weird. #nuffsaid" 

"Agreed that Aliens and God have a lot more similarities than I probably should have acknowledged?? #crap" 

"I'm roasting alive. #recordhigh" 

"Bill...........#waitWHATdoyouhaveatattoo'donyourarm??"

"Tracted....buncha heathens #self-proclaimed" 

"Dinner at the Heaps. #waitrepeatJakeHeapsisonly21!!?!? #identitycrisis" 

"I wouldn't say she's homeless...but she's kinda. Like, her clothes don't match. -Clare #BLESSHER" 

"So.many.things. I am wearing a shirt UNDER a dress!?!?! #fullysuccumbedtomissionlife #bringspeacejoy&saddnessallatonce" 

"Just grabbed a bug off my shirt. Flicked it.......WAIT JUST GRABBED A BUG!?!?!? #omg" 

"I keep a BYU Testing Center Pencil in my planner. Just thought I'd remind you all how awesome it is to NOT be in school. #sorrynotsorry" 

"Oh, you say you cured cancer? YOU CURED CANCER?! #I'mserious" *<--- HALT. I'm pretty sure he did. I mean granted, we were stuck at a table at Applebees for 15 minutes as he told me all about how we need to stick it to the man and boycott modern medicine that is sucking the lives out of people... Yet somehow I find myself leaving the table ready to burn down a hospital and start growing plants?? 

"There are little people walking around on this table. #14thdimension" 

"There are also giant people that roamed the Earth...and everyone was just so lazy they couldn't dig a grave, so they just threw some dirt over them when they died. Thus the mounds in the South America. #obvs" 

"Randy....stuck on Polygamy still......"

"Randy....unstuck on Polygamy... thanks to an incredible analogy to Braveheart that fell out of the sky and landed on my lap?? #MelGibson #savinglives" 

All of these are so much better completely out of context with no background information so we'll leave it at that. 

MUCH LOVE! 

OH one Miracle really quick: well actually 2: 

1=Extreme Weather Watch yesterday...that's all I'm going to say DAD #PFAT 

2=Randy told us he KNOW THE BOOK OF MORMON IS TRUE!?!?! I've known he's known for so long but to actually hear him ADMIT it and to himself even!! WOW. All thanks to Markell losing her tiny Ruby out of her ring and telling him all about the faith we had to find it (look up there he is in tears trying to cover it with his glasses!?!?!?) So amazing!! 

If you ever doubt anything or feel down study the Plan of Salvation! Elder Cook when he came told us (he was on the committee that wrote PMG) that in the focus groups they had, ALL of them, even the ones who took the discussions 10 years ago and never contacted the church again, all of them remember the First Vision and the Plan of Salvation because he said those are the two single events and aspects of the gospel that bring the Spirit the strongest. and it is SO true. Every time we teach those things, you can FEEL the Spirit set in their hearts. It always puts your life in perspective. Such a blessing!! 

This is SOO all over the place but I really can't concentrate because the man who cured cancer is sitting across from me at the Library (Bro Kehr) and I can't decide if I should ask for his autograph? Or wait until I see him again at Church on Sunday...? 

#worstEmailever

LOVE YOU ALL 

Love, 

Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

disclaimer: i don't do this to bring about guilt in all of you who have NOT written me, but if that is a side effect than I am not complaining- this is to let people know that I got their mail because that is the WORST always wondering....and it may or may not take me a little bit to reply... :) 

(oops i fotgot last week)

KYLER + RACHEL! omg your wedding announcement. I died. I already told you but I'll say it again, so classy loved it! 

GRANDMA! LOVE your letters!! And i love the extra stuff you send keep it coming!! 

Smashley - congrats on being #1 most devout. #applause 

Sis McClain - ANGEL 

FEENAY! YOUR TRANSCRIPT! wow so long. LOVED LOVED LOVED it. literally died. Sent you a letter today! 

SHAYLA - obsessed with it all. LOVE YOU 

JESS LEAVITT- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS loved every second of it. 

MOM got all your packages THANK YOU LIFE SAVING 

MITZI COLLINS! Thank you thank you!! Your PMG "golden nuggets" as we like to call them was PERFECT for our week! THANK YOU 

"Note to self, thank Mom for not aborting me" (May 13, 2013)

THAT was on a sign of one of the Churches driving in to town. #yes 

OH MY GOSH. Weird I talked to you. yesterday. It was magical. EVEN though I was the only one who could see your beautiful smiling faces, I felt so creepy. 

ANYWAY not a lot to say...................

JOKE. wow. KNEW this would happen. The second I hung up I thought of 3,000,000,000,000 more things to say. UGH. 

So to sum up our week, here is a beautiful word drawing:

So wait woman that is running away from us! We do like yard work and stuff too! FOR FREE. ......"oh...Why?" .........touche.  

Uhmmm...."no Jeff, I'm so sorry, I actually CANT go on a date to that baseball game with you, I know you are so sweet and 65 years old and slur all of your wordstogethersowecantunderstandwhatyouareevensaying, but no. just no."

Realize it's 100 degrees outside....too late. You are bundled. Expecting a blizzard. Oh well. 

E....xcept now you are roasting in a sauna because you have tights, boots, 2 layers of coats on AND its now reaching 367 degrees...cant.....survive....here......with...out........weather app.....#firstworldpains 

We are actually not Jehovah's Witnesses. I know, I know, shocking. 

Ew. Salmon...."I mean YES I LOVE fish!! HOW did you know!"....................................

Super body-builder-Boxing-champion-obsessed-with-Super-Man-happens-to-be-home-bound-for-a-year-due-to-car-accident-thus-300-different-surgeries = GIFT FROM THE GODS. "oh.....suuuure you can give us tips on how to become 250pounds of pure muscle......and we will teach you about a rock solid gospel with a loaded punch about body building aka the Word of Wisdom. 

Pizza place? Called "Golden Pizza Place?" um, sure Oskaloosa population 35, we'll try it....because there is no other option. Oh, you just charged us 20$ for a terrible pizza and a world famous funnel cake that is actually frozen and the size of my fist? Touche Oskaloosa, touche. 

Really. Bible Study Class with our new BFF Lois, From the SOUTH. She's pure class. And knows the Bible like the back of her hand. PRAY FOR US. 

Edward Cullen house in Winchester?!?!?(population: 4) (if you couldn't tell Saturday we took an adventure and visited the 3 towns in our area that get NO visitors (they are 45 minutes away) and every one is Less Active except for 2 golden jewels of human beings whom I love. ANYWAY we go to visit one of those jewels.....drive up the drive way......keep driving.....5 minutes later still driving.......about to turn around.....UNTIL the trees open up and there beholds this little sanctuary of GOODNESS!?! oh.em.gee. SERIOUSLY coolest house in America, overlooks this tiny little private lake, like super modern cabin style?? Who knew that was possible. 

Allergic Reaction of Sister Wilson. Found out she is allergic to Kansas. Super funny....her face was exploding...we are taking pictures....until it keeps exploding......and now we are nervous.....and now we are suddenly rushing to the hospital. YEAH OHHHK I feel really guilty with all of these pictures of her face on my camera...but she is still alive and is ok.....so i feel justified laughing at them still. 

Dont make jokes to Clare's brother Art about visiting her so much that we're just going to move in. Because they get real confused. And then concerned whenever you show up with more than one bag.....wondering if it actually has your stuff in it......*questioning looks at doorway*

McLouth population: 100 {METROPOLIS} actually the most amazing-creepy-alien ish village lives here!?!? So its flat Kansas....we drive up this little mound.....and through this gate that says keep out.....AND THERE IS THIS TINY LITTLE STATE OF MAINE ON THE INSIDE!?!? like SO green. Little lake. HOUSES ON THE LAKE. Little boats. cute colored houses. it was seriosuly FREAKY. but AWESOME. and weird. and confusing..... 

Undying 

Love for you

'Couple of people I call family 

Happy Mothers Day!!! 

Love 

Sister Murray 

(if you couldn't tell, we spread mulch a lot this week. like a lot.) 

so.much.mulch. 

Oh and THIS. If I had to have an anthem of my mission it would be this picture. 

Mom, Please don't forward this one (May 6, 2013)

JUST KIDDING. I've always wanted to do that. Like make my subject SUPER juicy so people are like OMG HIDDEN TREASURES but really its just same ole same ole. So sorry to get your hopes up. I'll try and include something iconfidential that sounds like it should only go to my mom.

WAIT- mom your package= GOLDEN. I could not believe how excited we were to get a transcript of conference?? borderline pathetic if it wasn't so golden. THANK YOU

 

THIS WEEK=AMAZE.

First of all, our mission wide fast for Miracles in May OMG INSTANT. We started on Saturday .01 seconds later we were tracting a referral that came to us all cryptic like in our phone because they are so old don't understand english- ANYWAY all we got was the address and name. Go to his door. First thing he says "Oh! Hi, yeah the missionaries used to come visit me and then they moved! So yeah, I'm interested." ----silence--------------WHAT. yeah amazing.

 

TONS of tracting this week- wow. love it. Since everyone is so lame and gave me NO door approaches, (EXCEPT Aunt Colette that sent me a GOLD MINE business approach) I just came up with "oh...we're new in the area and just introducing ourselves" which works SO well amongst the college-ites--

 

not well amongst anyone else.

BUT that approach soon got old so it turned into, "alright, I know the second we leave you're going to be SO curious with questions bursting out of your head so I'm going to leave you with our number so that you can call us and we will come back and answer them ALL." KID YOU NOT THIS WORKED, Literally I was like whaaa????? 2 different people took the bait. One named Diego (Jonathon! You'll die, he's a DJ...and showed me all his equipment and I just acted like I knew all about it so we insta-bonded but help i need fresh info to use) HALT I lied a little bit. This is actually a cool story:

REwind.

-We were knocking an apt complex and my OCD-ness made us go to EVERY. SINGLE. DOOR. not just "guided by the Spirit" skip a few etc. So no luck, few potentials etc. THEN last, very last, last last last door. RAGING party girl turning 21 awkward. We're like um.....yeah hi...missionaries.... SO we go upstairs first, THEN as we're walking back down Diego stops us and is like hey! I saw Jesus Christ on your name tag, what do you think about athiests?

UM!?!?! WE THINK THEY ARE AWESOME NATURALLY!?!?!?!? Then the bait was dropped "i'll know you have oodles of questions blah blah call us" THEN WE GET THIS TEXT THAT NIGHT AND I FELL OVER DYING. "What's the difference between belief and faith?-Diego"

HE IS REAL LIFE. So we had a meeting with him this last week, SO.MANY.QUESTIONS.......no structure.....lesson all over the place......BUT we survived and he said he'd be interested in learning more. HUZZAH

 

ALEX- other one. We met him a few weeks ago (remember the guy who loves aliens? yeah his neighbor.) ok he reminds me of Al Nash - like can talk about ANYTHING literally the blowing grass in the wind for like 20 min..and somehow we're like .....wait....somehow we asked you if you had seen the mormon.orgvideos.....and now we are talking about your front yard....BUT we chatted for a while- so refreshing to have him be so NORMAL--and HE CAME TO CHURCH. haha I literally had a miniature heart attack when I saw him walk up-EARLY even. 8:50. OMG. He tries to play it all off like he's just humoring us and acting interested because "he may as well try it" but I KNOW he is desperately seraching for something you can tell. Breaks my heart! He'll be baptized. KNOW it.

 

Ok miscellanneous items:

-my spelling is getting exponentially worse. MAINLY because we get texts like this on the daily:

"Dont no win to meet up i'm n Liberty" -Bill

"U aint sup pozin b kizzin them boyzzzz" <-- from a 63 yr old woman named Pam Neill....who is white.....#PREACH

 

-This family had us over for dinner....but then we went out to dinner.....and the little 7 year old came up and whispered in my ear "we have ants in our kitchen". Ohk.

But I knew I had truly been converted to missionary-ism when my first thought was "WOMAN we eat food with cats climbing on the walls- we can handle ants!" omg no make it stop.

 

Last week we almost had THREE investigators at Church (MIRACLES PEOPLE) Clare, Troy, ........................and Lisa? Cassidy (the one who dodged us and sprinted away from us on the bus? yeah before that) our member went to pick her up....but she was in bed. So she sent her roomate Lisa, who was SO.BORED. but wow loyal friend juss helpin a buddy out! .........don't quite think they understand the concept of church attendance.....

 

Tracting quotes of the week: (my new favorite section)

*knock on door- we can see him inside watching some sort of game* *dog barking off the hook=normal* "There is no one there! You are being so rude, stop barking- no one is there!! No.one.is.at.the.door. stop!".......................................Sis Christenot just staring with huge eyes like "Wait. we are at the door though."

So yeah we knocked again, Obvs.

 

We get reeeeeeeeeeally desperate for small talk. And at one point I find myself saying "oh yeah! Back when people broke MY kneecaps all the time...just loads of busting kneecaps back in Utah..." WHAT *we're all confused at this point* I WAS DESPERATE

 

"..............so.....hows the door-to-door thing goin?" Um....you tell us? "Not interested.." so it's going well then.....

 

*I know you're super curious now approach....* "Well....no. Just trying to be nice." CURSE YOU NICE PEOPLE.

 

OK love you lots- today = Zone P-Day which just means a bundle of fun and no time for anything.

 

LOVE YOU

 

-Sister Murray

 

TAWN- omg ALMOST shed tears of joy when Jake Heaps wife was like "Oh Tawni says hi!" WHAT. Smallest world, Brittany's sister?!?!? WHO KNEW

 

SMASHLEY- need I say more?? <3

 

ERICA RICH/TANNER - k wait so many things about your letter: FIRST that you have a sticker with your FACE ON IT!?!? genius. second-of course you have cute stationary. WRITING YOU ALL BACK TODAY i think.

 

 was going to add pics. over it. too much work. NEXT week.