Negative Ghostrider the pattern is full.....(August 19, 2013)

SO......transfers this week...........had a special District Meeting on Sunday where they TOLD us where everyone was going in Lawrence.......mistake......because that changed.............and blindsided everyone. 

WHAT I KNEW .1 SECONDS AGO: 

that we were STAYING in Lawrence 1st (5th transfer in same place and i was THU-RILLED) and that the Elders that just came to double cover our ward (LOVE them, they are on fire such a blessing FINALLY got in the groove of working together as as TEAM) were going to be double transferred out and in to Lawrence 2nd Ward (where i originally started for like 1 week..) FOLLOWING? and the 2nd ward SISTERS would be leaving to different places. Tears were shed (from everyone but us because we were sittin' pretty staying where we were......minus the fact that we were HOMELESS but I love Salvation Army so I was like.....I'm ok with this not having a home thing??) done. check. locked in. 

IMAGINE OUR HORROR WHEN WE LOG ON AND IT IS US who is being transferred BACK to the 2nd Ward.....................................

full circle. 

So I'm staying in Lawrence.......but changing Wards....................AND.IT.IS.TORTURE!!!!!!!

It's hard enough leaving your area..but then to leave your area to GO NEXT DOOR AND BE FORCED TO WATCH ELDERS TAKE ALL OF YOUR INVESTIGATORS!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

dead.mind.exploded.dying...inside.......NOOOOOOOOOOO

ok. enough of that. IM OK. 

i think. 

pray for me. 

IN OTHER NEWS.......we get a freebie baptism this Saturday from the other Sisters??? #feelin'guilty

ok ok ok so BEFORE my mind got scrambled like an egg....these WERE the highlights...which now turned to lowlights thinking that I want get to help their progression! (AH) but the Elders really are FANTASTIC so it's a blessing.......and a curse. 

WUT. 

haha ok i was going to erase everything but it's better if you just FOLLOW THE PATTERN OF CHAOS RIGHT NOW. 

Just got a text from the Zone Leaders saying the transfer list was wrong and we are ACTUALLY still in 1st Ward???? RIGHT WHEN I GOT COMFORTABLE SAYING IM IN 2nd?!?!? hahaha LITERAL fiasco. 

So I'm just not saying anything anymore. 

HIGHLIGHTS: 

SHOWERED WITH GIFTS AT SALVATION: 

-diamond ring big as my knuckle REAL........i'm like hmmm you sure? YES REAL....so we sold it and made GOBS of millions of dollars and we BOUGHT Salvation Army and now they all WORK for us writing our numbers on the thousands of mormon.org cards and pamphlets we haven't filled out yet.................

-oh and we also got Rusty tomatoes....like the only way to describe them thats what they looked like....someone "grew" them so we're like ................................. delicious...............................

-and basically could make a bouquet out of the fake silk flowers I got......which i usually re-gift to Liz the lady who works upstairs......until the person asked for it back as we were leaving....??? .........awkwardfumbling....ohcan'tseemtofinditinmygiantbag................................................... #crap

Dinner: me vs. the ants. 

Trying so hard to concentrate on the convo....whilst WWIII commences under my napkin........so gross......never will look at black pepper the same.... 

PICKING RASBERRIES: I'm like...is this service or is this heaven???????????? #bestdayever 

MOVED: chaos....so much stuff.....tiny Ford Fusion.......obstruction of vision at every angle.....ALIVE. 

Etiquette dinner....with the BEEHIVES?? and Sister Campo (bless her)....after a failed attempt at setting a place setting because they stole the cheat sheet.....resulted in cancelling everything and watching them zipline for 20 minutes #success 

LAST ZONE MEETING BEFORE TRANSFERS (half the zone leaving) = ALL of us going out to eat...tiny little local Mexican resturaunt in Topeka + 100 million missionaries = SO MUCH CONFUSION so overshelming....not enough Spanish....we are so weird. Like just so many collared short sleeved shirts........LOVE it. 

Guilt tripping Neil (the hospital janitor) in to meeting with us....COUNTING IT AS A SUCCESS?? #winning

-DIANE! Salvation Army like LIFE OF THE PARTY! ......possibly dating recent convert Troy?? tbd 

IN LOVE with an Elder who served here 6 months ago CONVINCED she has his "personal cell phone number" "HE GAVE IT TO ME!, lets call him!!" ....EVERY Elder since has played along which is SO funny "do you want to talk to him?" SURE "hey this is Elder haws....not Elder McCalley...", EXCEPT this last Elder....to see her face of disappointment... HEART BREAKING. 

Went to those tiny cities in our area (McClouth)just lost...like a lot. 

physics teacher/teaching us magic tricks for like 20 min?? UM YES? but so caught up....wait why are we here agian? OH YEAH THE GOSPEL! 

SO MANY HORSES 

Less Active......with some lazy eye(s) (plural) ...........where do I look.......where do I look........30 min later....realize i picked the wrong eye.....thinks I've been ignoring her this whole time WHY. 

LASTLY week topped off yesterday by Parker Christensen re-incarnated as a girl SO awesome - walks in to Church late with a scarf over her head like shaking/shuffling down the aisle to the VERY front pew...grandma/Muslim character down to how she sang the hymns all shaky at the TOP of her lungs, i seriously was like.....wait. WHY are we not best friends yet. Shes 13. Besties for life. 

HOPE your week was as confusing as mine. Because it makes your life that much more awesome. 

LOVE YOU ALL 

Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

nobody. Either you all hate me, or the mission office is holding my mail for transfer week. :) 

LOTS-O-LOVE, 

me. 

Rul quick. (August 12, 2013)

Ok, this is going to be BRIEF. 

I went on exchanges and had to go up to Manhattan (like a knock-off version of Lawrence, literally.) it was like CRAZY busy/last minute? So i had like.........nothing? Sister ______ (they are in a trio) "oh you can wear my sweats! oh you can use my pillowcase, i just washed it! Yeah, here use my towel I just washed it too!" Wow thanks Sister_____!! 

...........

Next morning about to take a shower, other Sister comes over, awkwardly whispers "just so you know, Sister ___ has ring worm, so......................" *hands me her towel* 

-Wearing Sister____'s shirt- 

-been wearing it all night-

-what the is ring worm-

-help me-

Oh yeah also on Exchanges...they hadn't been to the store for a while.....so like breakfast..."popcorn?" ....lunch......."tortilla with peanut butter"...? 

RING WORM AND MALNOURISH-ment = the best day of my life. naturally. 

So lady who fed us parasitical meat and fish and corn in pan? New delicacy "harvard beets" or something? mmm delicious! 

-get up to get "seconds"...just going to put those back...in the pot.....come back with empty plate....dont question it-

ZONE CONFERENCE:had to spend the night because it was so far away "midnight devotional" with some sisters that we stayed with (because we can't have sleepovers) BEST EVER. Except they had this GIANT air mattress like literally California King blow up mattress...who knew they made those? So we just slept like sardine style? Which technically wasn't breaking rules because it says don't share a bed with your COMPANION...not dont share a bed with 4 other companions.....so......

but nightmare 2013 trying to blow it up and couldnt find the leak.....so just kept pumping it up.....leak sealed itself without telling us............so bed now=a sheet of bedrock. So basically we slept on the floor that was elevated 2 feet off the ground. #suchawaste 

Lastly, had some pretty spiritual experiences this week: 

1- met with a Less Active (the one who MIRACLE-ly? lived with that guy Rich who was the alcoholic we had been searching for for months? Scott Kessler? 

Ok so he has some pretty crazy ideas of the church, but still has a foundation of a testimony, in her lesson with Rich Scott was piping in with his testimony AWESOME.................until the end when he said the church was falling apart and no where in the bible does it say that there should be a seventy......

-ok do we address the apostate LA or the investigator??? neither????- 

Scott.....meet with us next week. 

So we meet with Scott, bring sister neill...........(who is also less active?? thought it was a good idea at the time.....) basically now addressing TWO different less actives concerns about the organization of the Church. 

But then Scott tells us about how he has received dreams since he was 14 about where he needs to find the brass plates...and how he is supposed to walk across the atlantic to retrieve them and then end in Jerusalem....but he hasnt read the BOM in years or been to church because that would "cloud is mind" with the discussion ending in him "losing his ability to speak" so he wrote everything down on a piece of paper he wanted to say ......................................so as odd as it sounds NOW- in the moment, it was like CRYSTAL clear what I needed to say, do, respond to.  

In PMG it talks about feeling successful as a missionary when you feel the Spirit working THROUGH you, and honestly at that moment, despite the CRAYness i FELT it. I knew EXACTLY how to respond, what to say and STILL felt he love God had for His lost son Scott....

and WHO walks in to Church Sunday and stays for all 3 hours?

Brother Kessler. 

The Church is true, book is blue. 

LOVE YOU ALL 

lame email I KNOW. but this week has been MORE than crazy. 

OH we're being kicked out (in a nice way) since the Yates are having a family friend move in who is a 17 yr old boy.....which means see ya later Sisters. 

SO we still have no home.....................so send mail to the mission office until next week.

7011 E 13th St N

Wichita KS

67206

MUCH LOVE

Sister Murray  

PICS:

1. my favorite kids ever, they lived in Japan when they were little so they LOVE peace sign. 

2. Me and Sister Smartt from my MTC district, LOVE her, Zone Conference 

3. last but not least.............DENNIS from Salvation Army.......AS WE ARE TAKING this pic he puts his arm around me MAY DAY MAYDAY arm is reaching back to un-latch the situation but just turns out looking so bad.....but then so good because his girlfriend is in the forefront....so couldn't not share. 

Shououts! 

Mitzi- Best talk ever!!! THANK YOU!

Smashley- package??? you kiddin me????? SO GREAT I LOVE YOU

MOM- got my skirt TODAY its so so so cute, LOVE it!! THANK YOU! 

Needles and Thread (August 5, 2013)

Troy. Remember him? (Recent convert) He's been struggling lately, so we met with him, and he CEASES to amaze me with his RIDICULOUS analogies (i.e. his life compared to a floating chair.), but his last one was actually amazing. 

Sewing. 

You see the stitches on the top, but you can't see the ones underneath. 

Simple.

The stitches on top are like faith, you can't see it ALL, but you have faith that the stich is going to hold your fabric together, no questions. Stitches on bottom like blessings, you don't always know what you will be blessed with until AFTER the trial of your faith.

Isn't it amazing that in Liberty Jail, easily the LOWEST part of Joseph Smith's life, so hard we could ask ourselves WHY did he have to suffer it?--we begin to see the bottom stitches, and realize the AMAZING revelations that came from it!!  The hard things we go through- we are truly BLESSED from! 

Ok, so enough preachin, lets get down to some "stitchy" situations. (O.M.GGGGGG. yeah that one came out of nowhere. I'm so proud of my pathetic pun attempts)

First of all, I have faith that we WILL find an apartment and not become homeless........................................#blessingsyettocome 

Second, I have faith that without our fearless leader/Ward Mission Leader who is about to be consumed into a Football season that our entire ward mission will not fall apart...........#blessingsyettocome 

Third, I have faith that I will not develop some sort of disease after last nights dinner. #blessings............hopefullycoming 

SIDENOTE: 

Fast Sunday yesterday. Easily the best/worst day of the mission. Best because serious MIRACLES occur. Worst- your energy level comes somewhere close to -74% 

ULTRA SIDENOTE: 

Sister Engebretsen is terrified of fish. LIke gets nauseous thinking about having to eat it. So yeah I take the bullet like A LOT, like on thursday when we had SALMON that was so fishy.....my blessings of enjoying fish are like.......................run dry.

 --dryheave-swallow-mashup-rest-to-look-like-you-ate-it--

Anyway, Sister ______  is INFAMOUS for making..................."Oh i forgot you were coming........All i have left is frozen fish and a can of corn...PERFECT. we'll put it all in a dish with a little water and cook it on high in the oven....TOTES delish." 

.............................................

So she is feeding us on FAST Sunday. 

So Sister E calls to find out time..."any requests?" Oh Spaghetti! (in her mind she THINKS this is a safe option...........#rookiemistake 

"PERFECT! I have like LOADS of frozen spaghetti I made 2 weeks ago I've been dying to get rid of! See you at 5!" 

.........

"Dear Heavenly Father please bless that we live through the night....."

So we show up, ready to attack frozen spaghetti, 1,000 prayers offered that we will be ok and that it will taste like manna from heaven. 

Smells......decent (frozen garlic bread, whatev we'll take it.) 

Sister ________ offering the prayer now.....

"And please bless that we will be safe from any parasites that are found in the meat..." 

one more time for good measure, I REPEAT: 

"Please bless that we will be safe from any parasites found in the meat..."

lost it. 

.....QUE sifting through sauce taking out pieces of meat, praying that if we DO get a parasite we will at least lose weight from it, then sifting through sauce again.........

Lastly, I had another dream, but this time I was swimming through a giant Cafe Rio salad, and it was joyous.   NOT that I am craving that right this second or anything as I sit here in this public library surrounded by people who think that the Telestial Kingdom of Chipotle is the highest level of Mexican Food. #sofooled 

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! 

Love, Sister Murrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

SHOUTOUTS: 

MOM! packages, AMAZE!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Grace: the postcards keep coming??? THANK YOU

CROOKS!!!!: GREAT HARVEST GRANOLA!??????????????????? WHERE.HAVE.I.BEEN. LITERALLY LIKE FRUIT OF THE GODS I AM SO SO SO OBSESSED WITH IT THANK YOUUUUUUU and for all of your sweet birthday notes THANK YOU 

Smashley; I am running out of adjectives to describe you. MAKING.MY.LIFE.!!!! 

SUMSIONS!!! AH so excited for Ben!!!! I ESPECIALLY love the prestamped envelope to him!! Sending him something toDAY hopefully he gets it in time!!! 

State of the Union. (July 29, 2013)

So I had this dream the other night...

Along walks this girl, moseying around, stopping to pick flowers, etc etc.  Everything is SO green, and beautiful, and there is a complete absence of any sort of insect or bug.  

Cliff appears. 

Think like Emperors New Groove VALLEY with rickety old bridge running across.  

Girl continues walking....passer-bys telling her "don't go! no!" but she goes anyway. 

Snaps. 

Saw this one coming. 

But DID you see Johnny Depp swing by in a giant cage made out of reeds?? Yeah- story takes a turn and it now resembles something like Pirates of the Caribbean when they are being chased by cannibals. 

She finds herself hanging on to this old rickety bridge like it's her LIFE line. Johnny Depp swings by again, 

"hey you are so dumb! Let go of the bridge! I promise just let it go."

So she does. 

But instead of falling through the air-- she is still suspended.

Because she is harnessed in with 12 more ropes and pulleys. 

So she begins to repel. 

Belay on.                           (editors note <--BELAY!? what.is.that.word.)

She's sittin pretty enjoying herself when she looks up, crazy aboriginal people sawing at her ropes on the errand of Johnny Depp. 

SNIP. 

WHAT THE! You kiddin me?? STOP. JOHNNY D! I thought we were friends!?!? 

One by one they are cut away, until finally, the final thread. 

As she is falling she is thinking "ok this is seriously so.dumb. like I was freakin BELAYING DOWN THIS MOUNTAIN DID YOU SEE HOW COOL I LOOKED???? YOU MUST HATE AMERICA---" 

.............until she gently falls into a glistening mound of frog eye salad and she's like, "omg can this even be real. Yes, yes it is," while she falls back hugging a giant marshmallow in total bliss. 

Sometimes, the Lord asks us to do things with our WHOLE heart, WHOLE might, and ALL of our strength.  

Sometimes He asks people named Melissa to go WAY outside of their comfort zone, exerting all her might, mind, and strength, and just SHOW UP at Church, knowing ZERO people, but just WINGIN' it! Because he asks her to investigate the truth with ALL of her soul, not just half.  So she does it, and its amazing. 

Sometimes He asks missionaries to go look for an apartment RIGHT when all of the students of KU come back in to town, and expect it get done quickly. And they're like WAIT there are so many other things we could be doing, let us only put half of our effort in and end up wandering in circles for 3 hours with no luck. 

--Let the aboriginals CUT YO DANG ROPE and the Spirit will trip you the next day as you stumble upon an apartment complex right by the church where a leasing agent named Chrystal with an "h" will tell you she and her boyfriend have been searching for a Church and your name tag looks "cute" not weird because she loves Jesus Christ!!!! #comingtochurch 

Sometimes, He asks people named Randy to LET GO of the fear and the excuses and shove the word "belay" down somebody's throat because it's such a confusing and meaningless rock climbing word ANYWAY (Kendel, dont hate) and to just stop repelling and cut the dang rope and BE BAPTIZED BY SOMEONE HOLDING THE PRIESTHOOD AUTHORITY OF GOD!

But I mean, it was just a dream. So whatever.

So my week this week was great..........

:) 

LOVE YOU ALL! 

Love, 

Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

Pretend like your name is Benjamen Button and we are working backwards in time??? 

Becuase these are all from last week.....and we have been staying in Lawrence in this week to stay out of the way of the Yates Wedding Extravaganza so I haven't gotten any mail this week. 

Best extended birthday week ever!!!! 

-Jayci!! LOVE YOU best birthday card ever! 

-JESS EVANSON!?!?! !#%^(@*!&*)$*@()$* yes. your letter BLEW MY MIND. best ever. 

-ASHLEY PACK! Seriously, you cease to amaze me, like i just start laughing/crying when I go to the mailbox and see your name basically every day. 

-CHAYLA!!!!! THOSE.CARDS. CANT EVEN FORM WORDS IM SO IN LOVE THANK YOU

-JillianJohnson!!! WHAT THE WHAT YOUR LETTER!!! sooooo great, writing you back TODAY

-KAREN! Your birthday card, SO GREAT! LOVE YOU!! 

-JEN AND DIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! birthday.package. SO SO GREAT!!! WANTED TO CRY! LOVED LOVED LOVED IT ALL!!!! 

-Grace- POSTCARDS loving them. 

-VIV BABE- the letter. SO GREAT. in huge letters so you'll continue to feel guilty when you don't see your name is this section ;) 

-Sister Reeves! Love your letters! Even the group kind, THANK YOU. 

To my famaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (July 22, 2013)

Sometimes you just wanna give the windshield a good-ole high five. 

With your forehead. 

*Cue brakes slamming.*

(shout out to mah main man Everything is Illuminated.......and Sister Christenot) 

The greatest day of my life was when we were eating at a members home and the wife was telling us about how her husband was trying to show off at the gym and next thing you know, he's high fiving the ground.....with his face. 

So yeah, big deal! So what! He was trying to do a handstand push up and sometimes your mind is just way stronger than your arms. 

And that's basically my week. 

Just high-fivin around town like it ain't no thang. 

FIRST lets begin with the literal high-fives. 

-Salvation Army.......need I say more? Ok I will.

Dennis. 

He is a small man who shaves his head and wears a diamond ring. Because he is TAKEN. 

By the Manican out in his shopping cart.

Not.lying. 

Sometimes he brings his wife in....sometimes its just her legs.........sometimes just her head. Just depends on what part of her he's in a fight with. 

YEAH TELL ME YOU DO NOT LOVE THIS MAN. 

Oh yeah and he calls me "baby" like every day.....which isn't weird because he also calls the Elders that too.............#somanyhugeeyes 

Walks in-asking EVERYONE to undo a knot in a pair of basketball shorts he somehow had acquired....no one...no one.....I'm like yeah, my arms are really strong, so are my fingers, GIVE ME THE SHORTS. gloves are off. So confident......

TIGHTEST KNOT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. 

but literally SWEATING 17 minutes later.........knot is undone. #17miraclesthrowbackthursday

--high fives all around--A FEW HUGS---more high fives--

NEXT: 

We had this miracle tracting. 

Bit off more than we could chew. 

Ended up tsunami of a disaster. 

Phase 1: tracting. no success.. little girl comes RUNNING after us like angel from the sky appeared out of NO where, "I like your skirt--wait who are you? I LOVE church and i want to go! I'm 11 and i'm soooooooo cute and please can I go?" <-----all of a sudden it hits me OMG THIS IS SAGE CROOK RE-INCARNATED IN KANSAS!! So my heart melts and I'm like YES come to church, lets talk to your mom. 

Phase 2: come back a few days later. Long story short being drug from one house to the next getting more and more kids inviting more and more families til literally I'm like "wait...church count: like 1200???" 

Ok there were 4 kids BUT STILL. 

All the families like "wow- we need something like this in our life!" JUST OUT OF MY MIND EXCITED GETTING PERMISSION LEFT AND RIGHT. 

then the last family.........................."do you believe in the gift of tongues?" 

NO. 

"oh...............well it says it in the Bible?" 

Yeah....like we interpret it like missionaries can speak Korean and stuff.....

#palmfacehighfive 

WHAT. worst answer in the history of the church. BUT they still agreed to come. And they were the best family 

PHASE INCEPTION 1: 3 weeks ago I met this family talking to another potential investigator who works at the hospital who we are OBSESSED WITH so awesome..........except he might be in jail.............AND I REMEMBERED IT AND BROUGHT IT UP? and they TOTALLY trusted me after that because I knew Neil?????????????????? serious whatthewhat. 

Ok Phase 4: My arms are feeling like SO SO STRONG I'm like yeah 700 handstand pushups, because we now have TWELVE investigators planning to come to church, TWELVE. I'm on top of the world, we pull up to the houses............

no kids ready.....................frantically doing childrens hair now?? 

Throwing them in seats...buckling........frantic....late for Church................drive away (member is driving not THAT many rules broken...) 

REALIZE PARENTS ARE NOT THERE. Didn't come. swindled us into babysitting? 

Felt ok about it because felt SO bad for these children, super rough family situation (except golden family) so i'm like forget it- we're going to church! 

.........................totally EXHAUSTED, sweating, hair pulled every which way, and 700 rules broken LATER....took them home. 

Learned our lesson. 

NEVER bringing children to church again, without parents, like the white handbook says. 

#palmfacehighfive 

Lastly, miracle. 

HQ referral (NEVER get those, and we do, usually a joke.) Melissa. 

show up ready to be attacked by a million dogs and told to go away (oh ye of little faith) 

Leave basically crying with joy because the woman REQUESTED HERSELF and her husband is SO less active he's not even on the roll?? and with a return appointment. 

Had one of the best first lessons EVER, MY testimony was strengthened probably more than hers, she is searching for the Church to raise her 14 month old daughter in, so we brought a member with children similar ages, GOLDEN, so many comments that just hit it home, COMMITTED TO BAPTISM!!? 

High five with the Lord. 

LOVE YOU ALLL! Hope your weeks have been FULL OF HIGH FIVES. 

(reminds me of the time on Wednesday at Salvation.......one man who loves to hug me...and is never wearing a shirt....waiting outside for us to leave (4 elders, 4 sisters);

handshake, handshake, handshake, handshake, HUG????? handshake, handshake, handshake..........Elders now walking him away praying with him......#blessings 

-Sister Murray 

SHOUTOUTS: 

crap next week. I forgot my list. 

PIC: 

if you dont love them, you crazy

jk thats my god child named JORDYN 

love THESE ones.

Word Vom. (July 15, 2013)

FIRST OFF. WHOA THANK YOU ALL FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!!
Ashley(x3????), Don Vito, Ma Bev, Grandma, MOM, Molly Jane, MARKELL, JOSS, Erica, Jenny Moon, JESS EVENSON, Jayci, ALYSSA, Maddie Kerr, TAWN!?!? who texted Sister Heaps my favorite dinner so on Thursday night I was accosted by Ritz Chicken and frog eye salad AND FUNFETTI CAKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!?!?! #tears
Not to mention all of the emails!?!?
Seriously MADE.MY.DAY. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! Gahhh i feel so blassed to have such amazing family and friends! I just sat there opening everything being like WHAT THE WHY AM I SO LUCKY! Like literally, all so, so so nice.

Ok enough about me, wait no never enough about me, this is my email.

Well before that happens, there is an asian woman sitting right next to me at the library watching this Asian soap opera WOW SO MANY COLORS. so distracting....ahhh....can't stop....hello kitty shirts.....avoiding my eyes......kind of....

So this week has just been so.much.trauma. I developed this TERRIBLE acid reflex disease where I begin to say something terrible and in my mind I'm yelling stop stop stop but my mouth just keeps going. If it were a cartoon there would be little cute font-ed words flying out of my mouth and my hands would be flailing around trying to round them all up and scoop them back in.  The best way to explain this is to just a give a few examples:

My Mind: 

-Less Active we just helped move in, husband died, wow thats so tragic....but at the same time....I don't really know any of your family....or you for that matter....but still super sad....oh wow you are now planning the funeral, and you have asked me to pray....phobia of public prayers PHOBIA OF PUBLIC PRAYERS! 

"Yes of COURSE I will!! I love to pray, seriously love it, sure, yeah, name is spelled M-u-r-r-A-y" noooooooo

-Transfers....at the transfer bus....don't know my new companions name....random girl walking up....we are chatting....yeah the lady who took us here TOTALLY CRAZY, our Ward a LITTLE bit crazy....can't believe President even trusts me to be a trainer....just kidding...but not really.......

"Whats your name? Oh....so YOU're my new companion.....just disregard everything I just said....." #crap

-New Sister in the other ward giving ride home to...oh you came with a bike...wow....yeah we have been driving around with this stupid bike rack on our car for 5 months, never even TOUCHED a bike....literally have NO idea how this thing even works?? Let alone how to hook on a bike???? 

"Oh yeah, we do this all the time, just strap this random strap that came off of a backpack on there, and that will totally hold!" 

Pulling over now. bike now dragging on freeway. 

"Yeah reaaally sorry about that! Thought that 1" material strap would definitely hold against 75mph winds blowing against your wheel that basically became a wind-turbine.. "

-Half the zone being transferred....it's like yearbook day but for a missionary....oh you want me to sign your Signing Journal? Crap...i hate yearbook day...too much pressure to write something BOMB, like you are being IMMORTALIZED IN THIS PERSONS JOURNAL, and you expect me to write something personal,thoughtful,humurous,memorable in 3 minutes!?!?!?!

"Yeah I TOTALLY will write something" 

Crap......20 minutes later STILL have the journal....page is blank..............

"...H.A.G.S." #wentthere

-Toni and Lydia!!! VERY Less active, girlfriend not a member...have a baby named JORDYN that they named after me...love them been working with them for 100 years...never come to church, team up with new couple the Matthews and Heaps...SO GREAT, CAME TO CHURCH!?!?! Mind is now exploded with so much joy as they walked in the door- STAYED FOR ALL THREE HOURS!?!?!? Everyone in the Ward staring at us the whole time because we haven't had an investigator to church in like a month? Watching our every move because now it's like some sort of competition because ELDERS JUST GOT PUT IN TO OUR WARD TO DOUBLE COVER IT?? And its like a popularity contest because they are so charming and 18-year-old infants?? Better be like ROCKSTAR missionary so the Ward stays on our side....keep all the rules perfectly.....

"Oh Lydia..the bathroom is over there--sure I'll hold your baby while you go, and tickle her when she starts crying.............................." 
like 300 rules now broken. 

-Randy....its been 3 years since he began investigating...TIME TO LAY DOWN THE LAW....you need to be baptized...but how will i phrase this? It has to be GOOD like so perfect, Preach My Gospel like WORD FOR WORD RECITED, by the book, eloquently phrased...only have one chance to plant this...spirit is so strong, Brother Day has set it up perfectly for you, so much time and effort put in to teaching Randy..don't want to mess this up--

"I already know you want to be baptized so we'll skip all that, WHEN can we set the date?" 

what.the.

AUGUST 3RD YA'LL

Sometimes my terrible word throw up pays off!!
Pray for him. ......and for me. 

SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU ALL, 

Love Sister Murrrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

"The Land of Ahs" (July 9, 2013)

YEAH THAT IS OUR MISSION PRESIDENTS NEW THING. like he is the Wizard of Ahs (get it not Oz) HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THIS MAN RIGHT NOW. 

Ok let me start off by saying that if you could make NO parallels out of last weeks analogy.........thats ok i didn't really either. 

There is seriously SO much i want to say with no.time. 

Ok- real talk. 

I had a little pity party for myself the last few weeks. Invited loads of people, no one came, it was fun there were treats -- NOW ITS OVER. 

So back to the grind. Wizard of Ahs really helped me snap out of it by simply the fact that he told us in our meeting on Saturday (which had to be CONFERENCED- #fml SO FAR AWAY FROM MISSION HOME NOW) that we need to find JOY and smile about something every day and to JOKE WITH OUR INVESTIGATORS (worshipping him.) 

Ok let me start with this great lil thang. Like seriously WHY DO PEOPLE NOT WEAR PANTS. to answer the DOOR. WHY!?!? Why. why. Like annoyance #1 = when someone answers the door NOT wearing pants and is all shocked that there are actually people standing there!?!? LIKE HELLO??? we rang the doorbell?? AND THEN KNOCKED!?!? Like no it was not the wind. AND IN WHAT SITUATION WOULD IT EVER BE OK TO COME TO THE DOOR WITHOUT PANTS!?!? Like their like "oh...wasn't expecting YOU here...." Oh IM SORRY sir that you were expecting the UPS man?? Because then your no-pants-ness would be TOTALLY COOL!?!? #no. 

Enough about that. The fact that it happens enough I have to have my own section on this tells you something (first thing being that we have been tracting like ALL.THE.DAY.LONG. #loveit) 

Ok I also am losing my hearing at a rapidly intensifying rate - and also my eyesight!?!?! And also my knees like crack every time we have to pray now!?!? IM LIKE WHAT THE HECK AM I OLD!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

But it creates problems because my lack of hearing I just agree to things like alllll the time even if I have NO idea what they just said. 

"Oh I work at..asd fa...........asdfa dgfhd..." 

"Oh yeah thats great, i LOVE that place! Totes know."........................#itsabar

fail. 

Ok there is also this terrible awful PLAGUE thing called RED DOTTING!?! like just keep in the back of your mind my clean as a whistle traffic violation record as I tell you about ULTIMATE DEATH RULE: if you get ONE ticket- no matter WHAT THE HECK IT IS FOR- you are red dotted FOR LIFE which means you cant ever drive again on the mish. So imagine my HORROR when I see those red and blues flashing in my rearview mirror. *horror.* 

Panicing, failing, sweating, puking.

BUT alas, forgot to turn our headlights on. #SOMANYPRAYERS

OH YEAH - transfers this week. Sister Christenot is being transferred!!! So we kind of were saying bye's ish/using it to our advantage to basically black mail people into visiting with us? I mean like whatever works works.........

Anyway NANG sweet little asian child who is actually a grown 70 year old woman. "I make you dinner! ....fish soup.......marijuana in chicken curry for spice....in Berma! All the young kids....when i was teaching school.....bad.......but I blend up p so no side effects!" 

.................................................................

I'm sorry, WHAT ARE WE EATING!?? like what.is."p". 

Ok other thing- Lawrence hates America!?!? like NO one celebrates 4th of July here. IML IKE HELLO!?!?! WHERE IS THE FREEDOM FESTIVAL!?!? But they have tons of fireworks. And the white handbook says holidays are the best time to tract- so we did. LIES. True you find loads of people at home - FALSE THEY ACTUALLY ENJOY RANDOM STRANGERS SHOWING UP ON A FAMILY HOLIDAY. So we went to the park where there were like loads of people waiting for fireworks and just street contacted? (like my WORST NIGHTMARE!?!?) 

"hey, you're pretty great! You know what else is great? America! Heres a flag......speaking of great things.....so is Jesus............*Book of Mormon*.....yeah....fireworks....awesome......bye."

Just like TONS of success with that one. 

... 

...... 

.. 

But we had a ward "breakfast" party that morning where the kids did a bike parade--had them all lined up all cute......ready seT OK LINE GONE CHAOS. Just a blob of children going EVERY direction possible........child skateboarding....... does NOT know how to skateboard........injuries....................................pogo-stick.....................blob of children coming back........pogo-stick bringin up the rear.........WAIT POGO-STICK!?!?!?!? um yes. Best. 

My next favorite thing = this new family we have bonded with (replacing the Miles who moved to Idaho RIP) the youngest one has like ADD x1 million so they bought him a DRUM SET TO RELEASE HIS ENERGY ON!? like what on earth they were thinking I will never know, BUT he gave the prayer at the end of our lesson and he started crying, we thought it was because his mom kind of joked about how funny it was....."No! (tiny whisper voice) I'm crying because it was so beautiful." Like this little 6 year-old boy brought himself to tears from the beauty of his own prayer. O.M.G. LIKE YES OF COURSE I WILL BABYSIT YOUR KIDS FOREVER. so funny. (kidding. we cant babysit. white handbook.) 

We teach this lesson to families with little kids as dinner messages about the "warm fuzzy people and the cold pricklies" (like doing good deeds...) and im like wait. we need candy. Or else no one will respect us. So closest thing......sour gummy worms......"So here are your WORMfuzzies...."*warmfuzzies* ....crickets..... but we get a good kick out of it. 

But we always end with like "ok what is a warm fuzzy thing you can do?" 

(ADD child's little brother bolting away) "wait!" "IM GOING TO PEE FOR A WARM FUZZY" (potty training) seriously the best thing.ever. 

Also. Someone invented this thing called "im laying on the floor lifeless but it counts as exercise because I'm 'stretching'" 

seriously so dumb. 

BUT YEAH OK BIG DEAL I'VE DONE IT! and I EAT PAPA MURPHY'S PIZZA!....and I LIKE IT. 

#who.am.i.

Found this GOLDEN JEWEL OF A MAN in our ward who goes on team-ups with us and will somehow suck up random people to teach lessons to!?!? Brother Katschke. Saint. So we had a lesson with Chad.....from Salvation Army who loves to beat box.....going no where fast because he just wanted to talk about his portfolio of ideas that were going to save the world. "Ok Chad, we are walking away now!" 

"Have you heard me beatbox?--" 

"Chad...walking away....got to go...." 

"Ok, ok ok *running in front of us* let me just beat box as your walk by"...............so yeah we have theme-song music now as we walk around. Seriously the best moments of my life. 

Lastly, just ran in to Tom. Another man from Salvation. With a gallon size jug of VADKA. "This is just water...." 

Ok Tom *dodging hugs.....somehow face planted into a sweaty arm which resulted in a hug...* 

"This....................is not water." 

I know Tom, I know.

PEACE N BLESSINS YA'LL 

hope Lake Powell totally SUCKED. 

jk.

but actually yeah i hope it did. 

:) 

LOVE YOU 

Love, Sister Murray 

(yeah big deal President Bell told us to write one sentence telling him how we were. SORRY THIS IS A NOVEL) 

shououts: 

MOM MY BIRTHDAY PACKAGES!!! amaze. AND your 4th package!! LOVED MY OUTFIT. seriously so many compliments on how patriotic i was. BEST. 

SMASH! BIRTHDAY PACKAGE!?!?! saving it for thursday LOVE LOVE YOU AND YOUR 4th of july letter AMAZE. 

GRACE YOUR POSTCARDS HOW ARE YOU A HUMAN FROM EUROPE!?!? love!!! 

Aunt Holly and Grandma!! saving your card for my birthday as well!! LOVE YOU 

LOMcFAD!?!?!?!? dying. LOVE YOU. 

KELSEY YOUR INVITATION!!!!!!!!!!!!as dlkfjas;ldgkj as

died. 

so pretty. SO CLASSY. your HAIR. loved loved loved.