Ok let me start off by saying that if you could make NO parallels out of last weeks analogy.........thats ok i didn't really either.
There is seriously SO much i want to say with no.time.
Ok- real talk.
I had a little pity party for myself the last few weeks. Invited loads of people, no one came, it was fun there were treats -- NOW ITS OVER.
So back to the grind. Wizard of Ahs really helped me snap out of it by simply the fact that he told us in our meeting on Saturday (which had to be CONFERENCED- #fml SO FAR AWAY FROM MISSION HOME NOW) that we need to find JOY and smile about something every day and to JOKE WITH OUR INVESTIGATORS (worshipping him.)
Ok let me start with this great lil thang. Like seriously WHY DO PEOPLE NOT WEAR PANTS. to answer the DOOR. WHY!?!? Why. why. Like annoyance #1 = when someone answers the door NOT wearing pants and is all shocked that there are actually people standing there!?!? LIKE HELLO??? we rang the doorbell?? AND THEN KNOCKED!?!? Like no it was not the wind. AND IN WHAT SITUATION WOULD IT EVER BE OK TO COME TO THE DOOR WITHOUT PANTS!?!? Like their like "oh...wasn't expecting YOU here...." Oh IM SORRY sir that you were expecting the UPS man?? Because then your no-pants-ness would be TOTALLY COOL!?!? #no.
Enough about that. The fact that it happens enough I have to have my own section on this tells you something (first thing being that we have been tracting like ALL.THE.DAY.LONG. #loveit)
Ok I also am losing my hearing at a rapidly intensifying rate - and also my eyesight!?!?! And also my knees like crack every time we have to pray now!?!? IM LIKE WHAT THE HECK AM I OLD!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
But it creates problems because my lack of hearing I just agree to things like alllll the time even if I have NO idea what they just said.
"Oh I work at..asd fa...........asdfa dgfhd..."
"Oh yeah thats great, i LOVE that place! Totes know."........................#itsabar
fail.
Ok there is also this terrible awful PLAGUE thing called RED DOTTING!?! like just keep in the back of your mind my clean as a whistle traffic violation record as I tell you about ULTIMATE DEATH RULE: if you get ONE ticket- no matter WHAT THE HECK IT IS FOR- you are red dotted FOR LIFE which means you cant ever drive again on the mish. So imagine my HORROR when I see those red and blues flashing in my rearview mirror. *horror.*
Panicing, failing, sweating, puking.
BUT alas, forgot to turn our headlights on. #SOMANYPRAYERS
OH YEAH - transfers this week. Sister Christenot is being transferred!!! So we kind of were saying bye's ish/using it to our advantage to basically black mail people into visiting with us? I mean like whatever works works.........
Anyway NANG sweet little asian child who is actually a grown 70 year old woman. "I make you dinner! ....fish soup.......marijuana in chicken curry for spice....in Berma! All the young kids....when i was teaching school.....bad.......but I blend up p so no side effects!"
.................................................................
I'm sorry, WHAT ARE WE EATING!?? like what.is."p".
Ok other thing- Lawrence hates America!?!? like NO one celebrates 4th of July here. IML IKE HELLO!?!?! WHERE IS THE FREEDOM FESTIVAL!?!? But they have tons of fireworks. And the white handbook says holidays are the best time to tract- so we did. LIES. True you find loads of people at home - FALSE THEY ACTUALLY ENJOY RANDOM STRANGERS SHOWING UP ON A FAMILY HOLIDAY. So we went to the park where there were like loads of people waiting for fireworks and just street contacted? (like my WORST NIGHTMARE!?!?)
"hey, you're pretty great! You know what else is great? America! Heres a flag......speaking of great things.....so is Jesus............*Book of Mormon*.....yeah....fireworks....awesome......bye."
Just like TONS of success with that one.
...
......
..
But we had a ward "breakfast" party that morning where the kids did a bike parade--had them all lined up all cute......ready seT OK LINE GONE CHAOS. Just a blob of children going EVERY direction possible........child skateboarding....... does NOT know how to skateboard........injuries....................................pogo-stick.....................blob of children coming back........pogo-stick bringin up the rear.........WAIT POGO-STICK!?!?!?!? um yes. Best.
My next favorite thing = this new family we have bonded with (replacing the Miles who moved to Idaho RIP) the youngest one has like ADD x1 million so they bought him a DRUM SET TO RELEASE HIS ENERGY ON!? like what on earth they were thinking I will never know, BUT he gave the prayer at the end of our lesson and he started crying, we thought it was because his mom kind of joked about how funny it was....."No! (tiny whisper voice) I'm crying because it was so beautiful." Like this little 6 year-old boy brought himself to tears from the beauty of his own prayer. O.M.G. LIKE YES OF COURSE I WILL BABYSIT YOUR KIDS FOREVER. so funny. (kidding. we cant babysit. white handbook.)
We teach this lesson to families with little kids as dinner messages about the "warm fuzzy people and the cold pricklies" (like doing good deeds...) and im like wait. we need candy. Or else no one will respect us. So closest thing......sour gummy worms......"So here are your WORMfuzzies...."*warmfuzzies* ....crickets..... but we get a good kick out of it.
But we always end with like "ok what is a warm fuzzy thing you can do?"
(ADD child's little brother bolting away) "wait!" "IM GOING TO PEE FOR A WARM FUZZY" (potty training) seriously the best thing.ever.
Also. Someone invented this thing called "im laying on the floor lifeless but it counts as exercise because I'm 'stretching'"
seriously so dumb.
BUT YEAH OK BIG DEAL I'VE DONE IT! and I EAT PAPA MURPHY'S PIZZA!....and I LIKE IT.
#who.am.i.
Found this GOLDEN JEWEL OF A MAN in our ward who goes on team-ups with us and will somehow suck up random people to teach lessons to!?!? Brother Katschke. Saint. So we had a lesson with Chad.....from Salvation Army who loves to beat box.....going no where fast because he just wanted to talk about his portfolio of ideas that were going to save the world. "Ok Chad, we are walking away now!"
"Have you heard me beatbox?--"
"Chad...walking away....got to go...."
"Ok, ok ok *running in front of us* let me just beat box as your walk by"...............so yeah we have theme-song music now as we walk around. Seriously the best moments of my life.
Lastly, just ran in to Tom. Another man from Salvation. With a gallon size jug of VADKA. "This is just water...."
Ok Tom *dodging hugs.....somehow face planted into a sweaty arm which resulted in a hug...*
"This....................is not water."
I know Tom, I know.
PEACE N BLESSINS YA'LL
hope Lake Powell totally SUCKED.
jk.
but actually yeah i hope it did.
:)
LOVE YOU
Love, Sister Murray
(yeah big deal President Bell told us to write one sentence telling him how we were. SORRY THIS IS A NOVEL)
shououts:
MOM MY BIRTHDAY PACKAGES!!! amaze. AND your 4th package!! LOVED MY OUTFIT. seriously so many compliments on how patriotic i was. BEST.
SMASH! BIRTHDAY PACKAGE!?!?! saving it for thursday LOVE LOVE YOU AND YOUR 4th of july letter AMAZE.
GRACE YOUR POSTCARDS HOW ARE YOU A HUMAN FROM EUROPE!?!? love!!!
Aunt Holly and Grandma!! saving your card for my birthday as well!! LOVE YOU
LOMcFAD!?!?!?!? dying. LOVE YOU.
KELSEY YOUR INVITATION!!!!!!!!!!!!as dlkfjas;ldgkj as
died.
so pretty. SO CLASSY. your HAIR. loved loved loved.
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