Word Vom. (July 15, 2013)

FIRST OFF. WHOA THANK YOU ALL FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!!
Ashley(x3????), Don Vito, Ma Bev, Grandma, MOM, Molly Jane, MARKELL, JOSS, Erica, Jenny Moon, JESS EVENSON, Jayci, ALYSSA, Maddie Kerr, TAWN!?!? who texted Sister Heaps my favorite dinner so on Thursday night I was accosted by Ritz Chicken and frog eye salad AND FUNFETTI CAKE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!?!?! #tears
Not to mention all of the emails!?!?
Seriously MADE.MY.DAY. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! Gahhh i feel so blassed to have such amazing family and friends! I just sat there opening everything being like WHAT THE WHY AM I SO LUCKY! Like literally, all so, so so nice.

Ok enough about me, wait no never enough about me, this is my email.

Well before that happens, there is an asian woman sitting right next to me at the library watching this Asian soap opera WOW SO MANY COLORS. so distracting....ahhh....can't stop....hello kitty shirts.....avoiding my eyes......kind of....

So this week has just been so.much.trauma. I developed this TERRIBLE acid reflex disease where I begin to say something terrible and in my mind I'm yelling stop stop stop but my mouth just keeps going. If it were a cartoon there would be little cute font-ed words flying out of my mouth and my hands would be flailing around trying to round them all up and scoop them back in.  The best way to explain this is to just a give a few examples:

My Mind: 

-Less Active we just helped move in, husband died, wow thats so tragic....but at the same time....I don't really know any of your family....or you for that matter....but still super sad....oh wow you are now planning the funeral, and you have asked me to pray....phobia of public prayers PHOBIA OF PUBLIC PRAYERS! 

"Yes of COURSE I will!! I love to pray, seriously love it, sure, yeah, name is spelled M-u-r-r-A-y" noooooooo

-Transfers....at the transfer bus....don't know my new companions name....random girl walking up....we are chatting....yeah the lady who took us here TOTALLY CRAZY, our Ward a LITTLE bit crazy....can't believe President even trusts me to be a trainer....just kidding...but not really.......

"Whats your name? Oh....so YOU're my new companion.....just disregard everything I just said....." #crap

-New Sister in the other ward giving ride home to...oh you came with a bike...wow....yeah we have been driving around with this stupid bike rack on our car for 5 months, never even TOUCHED a bike....literally have NO idea how this thing even works?? Let alone how to hook on a bike???? 

"Oh yeah, we do this all the time, just strap this random strap that came off of a backpack on there, and that will totally hold!" 

Pulling over now. bike now dragging on freeway. 

"Yeah reaaally sorry about that! Thought that 1" material strap would definitely hold against 75mph winds blowing against your wheel that basically became a wind-turbine.. "

-Half the zone being transferred....it's like yearbook day but for a missionary....oh you want me to sign your Signing Journal? Crap...i hate yearbook day...too much pressure to write something BOMB, like you are being IMMORTALIZED IN THIS PERSONS JOURNAL, and you expect me to write something personal,thoughtful,humurous,memorable in 3 minutes!?!?!?!

"Yeah I TOTALLY will write something" 

Crap......20 minutes later STILL have the journal....page is blank..............

"...H.A.G.S." #wentthere

-Toni and Lydia!!! VERY Less active, girlfriend not a member...have a baby named JORDYN that they named after me...love them been working with them for 100 years...never come to church, team up with new couple the Matthews and Heaps...SO GREAT, CAME TO CHURCH!?!?! Mind is now exploded with so much joy as they walked in the door- STAYED FOR ALL THREE HOURS!?!?!? Everyone in the Ward staring at us the whole time because we haven't had an investigator to church in like a month? Watching our every move because now it's like some sort of competition because ELDERS JUST GOT PUT IN TO OUR WARD TO DOUBLE COVER IT?? And its like a popularity contest because they are so charming and 18-year-old infants?? Better be like ROCKSTAR missionary so the Ward stays on our side....keep all the rules perfectly.....

"Oh Lydia..the bathroom is over there--sure I'll hold your baby while you go, and tickle her when she starts crying.............................." 
like 300 rules now broken. 

-Randy....its been 3 years since he began investigating...TIME TO LAY DOWN THE LAW....you need to be baptized...but how will i phrase this? It has to be GOOD like so perfect, Preach My Gospel like WORD FOR WORD RECITED, by the book, eloquently phrased...only have one chance to plant this...spirit is so strong, Brother Day has set it up perfectly for you, so much time and effort put in to teaching Randy..don't want to mess this up--

"I already know you want to be baptized so we'll skip all that, WHEN can we set the date?" 

what.the.

AUGUST 3RD YA'LL

Sometimes my terrible word throw up pays off!!
Pray for him. ......and for me. 

SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU ALL, 

Love Sister Murrrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy